Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered293840218238, Jun 17, 2009.

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  1. Ack. So, this post may seem a bit arrogant and conceited, possibly immature...but I just have to fucking get it out.

    I work over forty hours a week. I go to school. I pay rent for a two bedroom apartment, as well as the accompanying bills. I shoulder all of the responsibilities of an adult, and yet I'm not one. I'm a minor -- one who has to do everything a normal adult does, but enjoy absolutely no freedom.

    And it's fucking getting to me. Reflecting on the way I've been living my life thus far is making me feel like I just don't belong in this world. I wish I had a normal childhood behind me or something, but I don't. My mom committed suicide when I was thirteen, and I currently live with an abusive father because I can't legally move out.

    Recently I was invited to a movie by a customer who frequents the bookstore I am currently employed at. I accepted, thinking it was merely a friendly offer. It turned out it was intended as a date, and the two of us ended up kissing at the end ofe it.
    I can't tell you how much it sucked having to tell him my age afterwards -- how fucking awkward and disappointing it was to have to tell him that I was, essentially jailbait.
    It started fucking with my head, y'know? I actually like the guy and I can't legally be with him.

    Subsequently, I ended up reflecting on just how many of my friends are older and don't realize how old I am. I wonder what would happen if I actually told them...
    I can totally see myself just being left in the dust because I'm a 'kid.'
    The irony is that right now they still see me as somebody who's enjoyable to spend time with.

    I just feel so out of place. I guess I'll end my little whine here.
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry this is how things are for you. wish i had some pearls of wisdom but i dont.
    all i can suggest is dont write your friends off as being so shallow. they should like you for you if they are true friends.
    sorry i dont have anything better to say.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is a shame when life makes a person grow up so is so imbalanced and frustrating...sorry this is happening to you, big hugs, J
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    hit me up if you wanna talk. Thinking of you.
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    It's always hard when you're forced to grow up fast. i know how that feels. if you ever wanna talk or vent, feel free to pm me :hug: hope things get better for you soon.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree you shouldn't sell your friends short..Nothing says you have to tell them.. If they ask then I would be honest.. Honesty goes a long ways where lies just seem to snowball into more lies...
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