Ack. So, this post may seem a bit arrogant and conceited, possibly immature...but I just have to fucking get it out. I work over forty hours a week. I go to school. I pay rent for a two bedroom apartment, as well as the accompanying bills. I shoulder all of the responsibilities of an adult, and yet I'm not one. I'm a minor -- one who has to do everything a normal adult does, but enjoy absolutely no freedom. And it's fucking getting to me. Reflecting on the way I've been living my life thus far is making me feel like I just don't belong in this world. I wish I had a normal childhood behind me or something, but I don't. My mom committed suicide when I was thirteen, and I currently live with an abusive father because I can't legally move out. Recently I was invited to a movie by a customer who frequents the bookstore I am currently employed at. I accepted, thinking it was merely a friendly offer. It turned out it was intended as a date, and the two of us ended up kissing at the end ofe it. I can't tell you how much it sucked having to tell him my age afterwards -- how fucking awkward and disappointing it was to have to tell him that I was, essentially jailbait. It started fucking with my head, y'know? I actually like the guy and I can't legally be with him. Subsequently, I ended up reflecting on just how many of my friends are older and don't realize how old I am. I wonder what would happen if I actually told them... I can totally see myself just being left in the dust because I'm a 'kid.' The irony is that right now they still see me as somebody who's enjoyable to spend time with. I just feel so out of place. I guess I'll end my little whine here.