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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by dew2little, Jan 24, 2010.

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  1. dew2little

    dew2little Member

    I'm 47, I've struggled with depression since I was 16 or 18. My trouble isn't so much as I want to kill myself as it is I don't want to live. My latest trouble started just over 2 yrs ago when my wife and I took custody of our 2 grand sons. At the time the oldest was 2 1/2 years old and the youngest was 7 weeks old. We took custody because the baby had 5 broken ribs which the father admitted to. This was a major life change for us as my youngest child was 17 and to have to go back to changing diapers again was a challange but we did it. We delt with the state and visits for both parents until my daughter was finally allowed to move in with us. During the 8 months it took to get my daughter back with her boys she had a taste of freedom and didn't want to be a mom any more, but we thought that would change. It didn't... My daughter and wife started drinking until I had finally had enough. On new years day my wife moved out, my friends moved away and it was only my son who stood by my side. My daughter and her boys still lived in my house, but never spoke to me as she was mad about the split between my wife and I. A year ago I was alone and feeling the emptyness of the 5 br house so I took inventory of all the pills in the house. I had seen my doctor and had just started taking meds for anxeity and depression along with something to help me sleep. Feb 6th 2009 I crashed. I went for a drive and ended up at my doctors office. They wanted to admit me but I had done enough studing to know what to say to them to avoid that, but I did start seeing a counselor.

    Jump ahead 2 months things are going ok, my pills are all locked up so I can't get them and I crash again, this time I move to OTC meds. I looked to see what the fatal dose was and started to take that over a few hours. again they wanted to lock me up, but didn't. July my daughter moved out, my wife moved back in and my health got better, until aug 2009 when my daughter couldn't handle her boys and they moved back in with us, then in Nov she moved in with us as well. I know find myself right back where I was last year even though I'm well medicated.

    I came here looking for someplace to yell and scream when I need to and not have to worry about who is reading what I'm really feeling.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You can post and vent here as much as you need to. :hug: If you ever feel like talking, you can PM me anytime.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey welcome to SF start venting okay it helps glad you reached out here so keep doing it take care.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums..You can vent all you want here.. We will listen and offer you support..Who knows you may even make some friends here...Take Care!!
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    welcome to the forums, its good to have a place to vent too hopefully we will help you with this
  6. dew2little

    dew2little Member

    Thanks for the support every one. Just knowing I'm not alone helps. This is all very new for me, no one to judge me, tell me how I should feel, or what I should think.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You've got a right to feel the way you do, and nobody has the right to tell you how to feel.
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am glad you have sought out options and ways af gaining support. Feel free you yell and kick and scream as much as you need to about your situation. It sounds as if maybe you are not the only one in your household needing a little help. :hug:
  9. Gary36

    Gary36 New Member

    luk guys if u are going to do it just do it, dont talk about it, thats what im going to do in work 2morro nite is just do it and end this shite they call a life, life is crap not worth the paper its writhen on, so this i shall say now dont listen to nobody but follow ur own heart and do whats best 4 u. cause they lie to u, everybody does, even ur wife lies to u, so i bid u ppl a goodbye
  10. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. This is the one place where people truly do understand. :stars:
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :welcome: to sf!
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