Just getting myself so worked up. Is it time? Why am I putting myself through this, trying and trying and getting nowhere? Why bother with the op if I'm not going to be here forever? Wouldn't the condition just make hanging so much easier and quicker? I feel I am at my breaking point, honestly. Its just all too much for me right now. I will tell you all I'm okay. But I'm not. I'm really, really struggling. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy and so why I am being this way right now I am not sure. Perhaps just trying to hide my shame in reaching out? To admit and accept I'm not strong enough to cope. This is all I can do, this is as much as I can do. There is nothing else I can do, no one else I can reach out to. I am sorry, and thank you.