I had decided that since I was having a relatively calm period, that I would follow through on my resolve to find a counselor who works with complex PTSD. The counselor that I ended up with made me feel weird. After asking a leading question she sat back and I answered as best I could. Then there would be a drawn out silence. I am the type that babbles when nervous and so then I was permitted to babble on, with no input or response. At one point I started to get tearful and she handed me a box of Kleenex.
When the session ended I felt confused and uncomfortable because no actual counseling had been done; I had not been told what kind of therapy she offered, nor had goals been discussed. I figured maybe the next session cover those things. But when I came for my next appointment it was not much better! She arrived at the same time I did, and muttered something about me being her only appointment that evening. She was on her cell when she came into the waiting room, asked me to wait a minute while she hung up her coat and then asked me to come into her office. The whole time she sat there, she had her arms folded and did not smile or respond in any way as I talked about the current things that were stressing me. The uncomfortable silences grew and I began to cry again. This time, she did not bother to offer me an tissues and I had to get one out of my purse. Her eyes followed my hand as if she expected me to whip out a gun or something.
I have slowly processed this; it wasn't apparent at first, but I am not going back to her. I feel so fragile and easily wounded, and that was the last straw. And to make things worse, when I tried to explain how I was feeling to my husband ( he couldn't understand why I wouldn't stop crying after a week) he actually said maybe she had been having a bad day! Just needed to vent about this.
When the session ended I felt confused and uncomfortable because no actual counseling had been done; I had not been told what kind of therapy she offered, nor had goals been discussed. I figured maybe the next session cover those things. But when I came for my next appointment it was not much better! She arrived at the same time I did, and muttered something about me being her only appointment that evening. She was on her cell when she came into the waiting room, asked me to wait a minute while she hung up her coat and then asked me to come into her office. The whole time she sat there, she had her arms folded and did not smile or respond in any way as I talked about the current things that were stressing me. The uncomfortable silences grew and I began to cry again. This time, she did not bother to offer me an tissues and I had to get one out of my purse. Her eyes followed my hand as if she expected me to whip out a gun or something.
I have slowly processed this; it wasn't apparent at first, but I am not going back to her. I feel so fragile and easily wounded, and that was the last straw. And to make things worse, when I tried to explain how I was feeling to my husband ( he couldn't understand why I wouldn't stop crying after a week) he actually said maybe she had been having a bad day! Just needed to vent about this.
