So, I haven't posted in here for a long time. I haven't felt I needed to? This is kinda weird though. Things are going great for me. I'm in University, on placement at the minute. I live with my mum again, my dad has fucked off somewhere which is amazing! The frustrations are hitting me again though. Im in uni trying to get a degree in Youth Work. I'm on placement at the minute, which although it is amazing, is so challenging. I was doing a tour of the area with a young girl the other day who told me she had been cutting. This is like my area of "expertise" in youth work so to speak. Before, I thought that talking to someone else and trying to "help" them through listening or sharing advice would have been so easy for me. But it's bringing me back to where I was before. It's so fucking frustrating though... I think it could be jealously though as well... It's wrecking my head. For once, I'm afraid if I say something to this girl, incase it triggers her to cut? When I know that when that was me a while back, it didn't matter what people said, I still cut. I dont even know what Im saying here now.. I think I just need an offload. Its kinda weird how I thought I'd be great at this, but instead, Im freaking out? Not knowing what to say, for the first time ever... It could be from the lack of support Im getting at the place, but it could be im afraid to ask for it? Idk... I dont wanna bring my personal life into it, as they could say im not ready to do this degree anymore... This is such a stupid rant... I apologise in wasting time if you bothered to read this... I just needed to out it.