Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by tainted-angel, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. tainted-angel

    tainted-angel Well-Known Member

    So, I haven't posted in here for a long time. I haven't felt I needed to?

    This is kinda weird though.
    Things are going great for me. I'm in University, on placement at the minute. I live with my mum again, my dad has fucked off somewhere which is amazing!

    The frustrations are hitting me again though.
    Im in uni trying to get a degree in Youth Work. I'm on placement at the minute, which although it is amazing, is so challenging.
    I was doing a tour of the area with a young girl the other day who told me she had been cutting. This is like my area of "expertise" in youth work so to speak. Before, I thought that talking to someone else and trying to "help" them through listening or sharing advice would have been so easy for me.
    But it's bringing me back to where I was before.
    It's so fucking frustrating though...
    I think it could be jealously though as well... It's wrecking my head. For once, I'm afraid if I say something to this girl, incase it triggers her to cut? When I know that when that was me a while back, it didn't matter what people said, I still cut.
    I dont even know what Im saying here now.. I think I just need an offload. Its kinda weird how I thought I'd be great at this, but instead, Im freaking out? Not knowing what to say, for the first time ever...
    It could be from the lack of support Im getting at the place, but it could be im afraid to ask for it? Idk... I dont wanna bring my personal life into it, as they could say im not ready to do this degree anymore...

    This is such a stupid rant... I apologise in wasting time if you bothered to read this... I just needed to out it.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun that's what this place is here for. So rant away. I hope it helps to make you feel a little bit stronger. I'm sure you can do what is needed. Just first time out jitters. You have the advantage over so many other professionals..... you are talking from personal experience. You can think back to what others said to you when you were struggling with your demons. I'm sure if you take it slow with this girl, earn her trust, you'll be able to help her move forward. And I truly think if you do it will also help you move forward too!!! Here if you need a sounding board :arms: