I am very close to checking out for good. Some may know my story, that I have tried my best to be who I could be after brain surgery to remove a tumor that wasn't there, but it will never happen. All have walked away (family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, church folks). I am not who I could be, and I have lost everyone except my damn shrink. I have tried my best to support my wife who still is drinking and stumbling to run away from her experience in NYC on 9/11 followed by abuse from her ex. It was her birthday yesterday, and she has been drunk since Friday. Damn! This is all FUBAR (Fck'd Up Beyond All Repair), and my tank is empty.