fuck - ester - of course

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#1
well now est has either logged off msn or is just ignoring me, or maybe she's blocked me.

and of course i can't get into chat, to talk to her there, she'll probably kill herself, then i really will have learned my lesson for insulting the mods.

est you <Mod Edit: Abacus21-insulting>, i could save your life, and in the process spare so many people so much pain. I could do this if you'd just fucking let me.

But no, you have 2 very simple choices


1. Get better, almost completely stop hurting people, do a lot of good in the world, make up for your past mistakes, and for the occasional times when you slip up. Live a happy life, and enjoy it. Learn to love yourself again, and to actually want to be happy.


2. Kill yourself, thinking that this will solve your problems, you will hurt at least 50 people doing this. Vikki probably won't be able to cope and will kill herself, this will hurt even more people. The rest of us will probably survive tho be really hurt and saddened. then every anniversary of your death you'll hurt us all again, and on your birthday every year. Every holiday we will think about you and it will hurt us. Every time any one else dies, we will think of you, if there is an after life, if you are happy, it will hurt us again.

We will learn to live with the pain of your loss, but we will never get over it, and will continue to hurt us, over and over and over again, for our entire lives. Every time we're depressed we'll probably hurt someone else, who might hurt someone else. If any of us have children, it will damage their up bringing and they will become social outcasts, probably depressed themselves.

All this pain, tons and tons, thousands of people hurt, because you refuse to do a little bit of work to get better, and live a perfect life in paradise.

and you know what, if you really think you don't deserve it, how about a life worse that death, i could give you that too if that's what you want.


mods pretty please leave this alone, at least until she's seen it, it's important.
 
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Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
#2
Matthew, please stop this, please.

That things didn't go the way I wanted them to today, probably was a sign.

I don't want to talk about whatever happened these past 2 weeks. Things happen. Probably for a reason. My dad said those things to me, probably for a reason. Yes it hurt me so badly that I've been an impossible friend the last 2 weeks. But don't worry I'll be fine.

Tomorrow I'll be going back to work. I won't be online much anymore and I dont know if I'll be on here much anymore either. I'll get out of this hole, even if it's just so you and everyone else will stop bugging me.
I will dedicate the rest of my life to helping humanity. I will care for people, and try to be there for them, without making the mistake of letting anyone come too close to me again.
 
#3
Goodbye Ester.

I'm sorry i was so wrong.


it's amazing just how much you have turned out to be like the majority of my family after all.

Please just go away from here, block me, never talk to me again, destroy your sim card. Just try and let me believe that you're still out there alive somewhere, let me have that fantasy
 
R

Robin

#4
Everyone who comes here and abides by the rules is more than welcome to stay, I don't see what right you have to tell someone to leave here.
 

kath

Well-Known Member
#5
Nothing to do with this thread.So eveyrone else ignore it.But i see this threead as a warning.Maybe i should leave.

Just going to think about it for a bit.
 

kath

Well-Known Member
#7
Hey just to say sorry about my two posts at the bottom there!!!!A bit out of place.And nothing to do with this thread or sitaution.i was just going off on a tangent of my own.i do htat sometimes!!!Your words just made me think LMA.Thank you for that.i am ok and hope you are as ok as you can be too and everyone else.

i just wanted to explain.....as best i could.Sorry for interrupting the thread!!!!!!!i would delete my posts but probably would make it look even mroe odd now.Sorry!
 

Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
#8
Goodbye Ester.

I'm sorry i was so wrong.


it's amazing just how much you have turned out to be like the majority of my family after all.

Please just go away from here, block me, never talk to me again, destroy your sim card. Just try and let me believe that you're still out there alive somewhere, let me have that fantasy
Matthew, it's really motivating that the one person who's kept being honest and just SAID everything they thought was going on, thinks I'm going to kill myself for sure. Read my post again, Matthew, it didnt say I am going to kill myself, not anywhere did it even imply that.
Thanks for having faith in me.
 
N

no one important

#9
it didnt say I am going to kill myself, not anywhere did it even imply that.
Dear me - I think today Might very well be the day. I know it's hard, but please, just go ahead and do it. Nobody here needs you to hurt them again, You've already done more than enough damage. They'll get over you, dont worry. They've got eachother. And it's not like it's their fault so they won't feel the guilt you felt. They'll be okay. Just do it. You've already killed too many people.
For once, do the right thing and end it. It's not that hard. In fact it's bloody easy. Go do it, it's for the best.
To me that implies your about to do something. See this is where you manipulate the situation. You write something that plants a seed into peoples heads. When they get worried you turn around and say 'I did not say i was going to kill myself' and theres nothing to worry about. Trying to throw people off, trying to make them think their in the wrong for showing they care about you.
 

Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
#10
I can totally see where you're coming from.
I could explain that behaviour by telling you how my mood goes from like -50 to 50 if you know what I mean. One moment I really want to do it, and the other I reconsider and decide to just take distance.

Either way my apologies and I'll try to be more careful from now on as to what I post, as it really is the last thing I want; to hurt people.
 
N

no one important

#11
I can totally see where you're coming from.
I could explain that behaviour by telling you how my mood goes from like -50 to 50 if you know what I mean. One moment I really want to do it, and the other I reconsider and decide to just take distance.

Either way my apologies and I'll try to be more careful from now on as to what I post, as it really is the last thing I want; to hurt people.
Well thank you for being able to see it that way. I was going to post admit who is posting this but wouldn't make a difference. If anyone add to it. I understand about moods. Trust me. You yourself have been at the receiving end of them. I know you don't want to hurt people.
 
A

Aquariamethystea

#12
It would be nice if there wouldn't have been so much hurt this past week. Please everyone, try to stay here as much and as often as possible. Please don't leave me.
 
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