fuck fuck fuck fuck

[Isa]

fuck.


fuck.

I dont know what im doing. fuck.

 

[Isa]

ok that was an unhelpful post. Im sorry.

I havent been around much, um, you may of noticed, lol, ive been a member a year and a half but been off site for about half a year, maybe 8 months?


Im so deep in crisis i cant talk to anyone.

Since Ive been away ive been in hospital for overdose, which caused my Dad sister and then boyfriend all to have utter break downs.

Now my dads on valium, sisters on coccaine and ex boyfriend and only friend irl because if you remember youll know i dont leave the house, he never talks to me..


And I am having panic attacks daily, in my house, in my room, for no reason, because im so worked up

Because I cant stop thinkign about death

and I want it so badly

And I think I have to go into some kind of rehab or therapeutic community, but i just know ill get stuck trying to help those around me and end up worse

and I just wish

I just wish

I had the damn pills and she hadnt taken them away..

and its not a top of my head thing

Ive been craving death for weeks, my boyfriend had to rush down from north england to spend a week with me, and he HAD to go home, leaving me alone, even though nothigns changed, and hes so worrie.d. hes right to be worried.. im worried...

Worried but so tired.. I dont know how much longer I can bare living in constant agony..


Please god let it be time

 

[rd9671]

Can you elaborate on that? What has you feeling so tense?

 

[Isa]

Hi RD, Im sorry, Im just so overwhelmed and theres nothing harmful in the house

They took away the glasses, i drink out of plastic glasses, the razors the knives the screwdrivers the pills

 

[Isa]

fine. FUCK IT THEN

 

[Isa]

its no wonder i have no one to talk to

 

[genuinerisk]

Nightmares, I understand, the below agency may be of some help. If you've already contacted them, I apologize for the redundancy.

Samaritans UK & ROI
National
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - Email:
Helpline 1: 08457 909090 (UK local rate) or +44 1603 611311
Helpline 2: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Helpline 3: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Helpline 4: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
Website: www.samaritans.org
Email Helpline: [email protected]
24 Hour service

 

[ybt]

how does a plastic glass exist? :blink: surely that's a cup

sorry, not belittling you, just find the term 'plastic glass' very strange

 

[sadchild911]

i fucking hate living stop this nightmare :'(

 

[sadchild911]

i fucking hate living stop this nightmare :'(

cb:ohmy:

 

[Isa]

its see through plastic in a glass shape without a handle.

Im still here. feeling very sick but alive.

Im sory. I love you all

 

[thedeafmusician]

((((nightmares))))

havent seen you in ages and ages.. been wondering how you were. To be honest, I don't know what to say... just know that Im here to listen I guess. :hug:

TDM

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

:hug: We're here for you if you need to talk. :hug:

 

[gentlelady]

It's good to see you Nightmares and yes it has been a long time. i am sorry to hear that things really haven't improved for you over the past 6 months. It sounds as if you have been through many struggles. You have made it this far so don't give up now. I am usually around sometime during the day, so if you need to talk drop me a PM. Take care. :hug:

 

[Isa]

Thanks guys, god its so hard right now.. im drowning

thanks for your comments guys its nice to see you all too

 

[gentlelady]

Thinking about you. :hug:

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

Nightmares :hug:

Be safe hun. Love you so much...