For no fucking reason. I didn't go into work today, I didn't call in either. I texted my manager at like 2pm explaining that I was depressed. At least it's something, right? In the past I would have just done nothing. I want to quit my job. This is the longest I've ever worked anywhere, almost a year now. I'm gonna be twenty six in a couple weeks. I still haven't graduated from college. I wanna drop out. I hate the world, and everyone in it. I hate myself, for hating the world. I can't tell the difference between myself and the world. I wish everyone would just shut the fuck up and leave me alone. I don't care if I die. I'm not gonna kill myself (maybe) because what's the point? The difference between eighty years and twenty six is nothing when you stretch time out to eons, or even infinity. Who the fuck cares. NONE OF THIS MATTERS!!!! Life is absurd. ABSURD! How the fuck can you find meaning here? Many people love me, and that's the most fucked up part. I hate that. I don't DESERVE to be loved. I'm a fucking MONSTER. In many ways I'm already dead. Nothing matters, nothing matters, nothing matters! Why are you people trying to force me to do shit. To become somebody. I don't care. I don't want to be part of your world. Your world sucks. It's full of control and coercion and force. People just drown themselves in mindless sex and buying shit and bragging about how cool they are. Who the fuck cares that you bought a new car? Does that really matter? I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I don't want anything from THIS world. I have a picture in my head of what this world could be, but it's like nobody gives a shit. People talk about change and freedom, but don't really understand the implications of those words. Your world is DYING, you will all waste away in polluted sludge. Does anyone here understand what it's like to see the human race MURDERING its self and its MOTHER (the planet) for no better reason than to get a few status symbols and to be absoultley powerless to stop it? Do you fuckers understand that something like half the world's population survives on two dollars a day or less? That's BILLIONS of people living in fucking garbage dumps. And we in the west are suffering from radical alienation, stress, depression, and abuse. This is one giant system built on fear and abuse and it's KILLING all of us. It's ironic, we're trying to save some people here on a suicide forum and for what? To turn them back into "productive members of society"? NEWS FLASH: this is a suicidal society. We're commuting suicide on planetary scale, and NOBODY gives a damn. You're all too busy watching Jersey Shore and fucking sports, too busy talking about each other and gossiping behind your backs. Everyone fucking gossips, everyone turns on each other. Fucking narcissistic bullshit, all you know what to talk about is yourselves. The party's over boys and girls. It's OVER! Fuck your Katie Perry's and your lady gaga's, fuck your justin beibers, fuck your abercombie and fitch, fuck your debt-ridden, superficial, valueless, wasteland of a culture. Fuck your crumbling economy. Fuck your inflation. Fuck your unfunded liabilities. Fuck your glutinous over consumption. Fuck your war rhetoric. Fuck your blood lust. FUCK YOUR INSANITY! I'm mad as hell, and I'm NOT gonna take it anymore. Who's fucking with me? We're all suicidal anyway, why not make a statement? Why not march on fucking Washington and chain ourselves around fucking congress and lock those fuckers in there? At least we'll make the news for about a week until these fucking sheep get wind of another hot celebrity story. Why not <Mod Edit, WildCherry>? Lets rush all the mental hospitals and release all of our types, and let them deal with that. Hey it'll happen soon anyway cuz the fucking government is BROKE. And if you don't live in the USA, don't worry, your country isn't doing much better. It's all gonna crash and burn and all of you are gonna go with it. It's all the same ponzy scheme, and you're all shills of believing in it. You think your governments are gonna protect you once food and resources start running out (and they will, probably by the end of THIS decade)???? FUCK NO! They're gonna protect themselves, and their establishment. They're gonna round us up into labor camps and prison camps. They're gonna fucking go to WAR! World War Three is fucking coming folks, mark my words. People are fucking stupid enough to go to war over FAKE made up shit, so they will DEFINITELY go to war once the oil starts running out. OIL IS PEAKING THIS DECADE AND THE POPULATION IS EXPLODING. Because of this food prices are gonna go through the roof. It's already happening. Get yourselves ready for massive shortages of just about everything. Starvation, disease, riots, unrest, fear, madness. Every apocalyptic nightmare that Hollywood has devised will look like a fucking fairy tale compared to the hell that you've created. I'm not depressed because "I got beat up at school" or cuz "my parents hate me" but because I recognize the deep seeded cultural problems we now face on a global scale. We're running straight for the edge of a fucking cliff and everybody is pretending like it doesn't exist, like we can just keep on running with no ground beneath our feet. WAKE THE FUCK UP! None of this matters anyway. I'm just blowing off steam. The joke's on you, because none of you will take me seriously. Investigate this shit yourselves, and you'll realize that you've been tricked. There's no future on this planet. Our species is on the verge of extinction. There is no God and there is no messiah to save you. We blew it folks. We failed the test. We had an opportunity but you baby-boomer fucks decided to get high on lsd and fuck around instead of seriously investigating consciousness with it LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO. Now you wanna LOCK ME UP for using these drugs properly, for using them to open hearts and minds and show people the true nature of their being. Now all you fuckers are retiring and expecting ME and MY GENERATION to foot the bill. FUCK YOU! I won't do it. This is fucking HELL and I fucking quit. I'm walking away. I'm leaving hell! Kiss my ass goodbye cuz we'll never meet again!