i guess this is my goodbye letter, i know poeple are trying to support me but heres the thing. it took me almost a month to trust my friend whom i ve lost to suicide, a whole month. i dont trust just anybody and am VERY picky about who i do and who i feel comfortable talking too. i am conveinced now that i had lost my soulmate, lost any good feeling i had, and lost the person whom ive trusted most. life is not worth living, and i wanna go. i want to leave, i hate my goddamn life. i figure ill have a couple of beers because holding a gun to your head takes a lot of courage. by the time im wasted i wont even fuckign care anymore. im sorry but when i hear someone cares for me and loves me its just not the same, because ive always been VRY VERY picky about whom i trust, and i tend to not believe someone if i dont trust them. ive always been this hard to reach, this is why i always kept everything bottled up, and EVRYTHIGN went away yesterdy, so as i always say, fuck it.