**fuck It!!!**

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Marshmallow, Jan 17, 2007.

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  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I wanna so badly and i mean BADLY. I feel sick because im so close. I haven't fucking done it in over a month. I hate my arms, i fucking hate it. everytime i walk around in just a t-shirt i have to press my arm against my stomach or chest to hide it from everyone. My chest bloody hurts so bad right now. My throat hurts. I just wanna do it so badly, deep. Get it over and done with. Everytime i think i've sorted shit out another things bring it all up again.

    I NEED TO SORT MY HEAD OUT!!! I NEED TO STOP THE FEELINGS!! I JUST NEED TO FUCKING STOP!!! AND ALL I CAN THINK OF IS ONE WAY OUT. IT WAS ALL MEANT TO GET BETTER. I WAS MEANT TO FEEL BETTER AFTER LAST WEEK. BUT FUCK NO!! STILL END UP LIKE THIS! STILL END UP WITH A FUCKING KNIFE LAYING NEXT TO ME, READY TO JUST CUT MY ARM TO SHREDS AND TO BE HONEST I DONT EVEN GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE!!
     
  2. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    Vikki
    Don't Give in to it.
    You have come so far and are doing so well.
    Hang in there sweetie.

    Luv, Josh
     
  3. Smashed-Up-Sanity

    Smashed-Up-Sanity Well-Known Member

    Hey Vikki
    you can do it!! its been over 1 month, WELL DONE! dont give up now.
    you say you hate your arms, but that in tome can probally be fixed and making new ones is only going to make you have more scars and you will have to hide your arms more then now.
    You can do it!!
    take care hun

    =]
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You can keep yourself from doing this vikki. You have made it this far and can go so much farther. Don't give in to these feelings. If something should happen and you can't, please do not view it as a failure, merely a setback that you can overcome. You have people here rooting for you hun, no matter what. Stay safe and take care. :hug:
     
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Thanks guys, i managed to be calmed down by someone from here. Thank you Terry and all the other people who tried talking to me, sorry i wasn't in the mood to talk back. Something really got to me last night and it just blew up. But made it to another day unharmed. So thanks to you all.

    All my love x

    <3
     
  6. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member

    Wow Vikki

    Well done. You did so well. I hope you feel proud of yourself, that was a very good achievement from how you was feeling when you posted this message.

    hugs xx
     
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Yeah guess i am proud. But then again today is another day. I got the feeling its gonna go the same way as all the other nights. But the distraction method seems to be working so guess i'll just stick with that :smile:

    xxx

    <3
     
  8. deep

    deep Well-Known Member

    You are so brave and doing so well I only hope I can have the same courrage as you to stop you are a wonderful person :flowers: :grouphug:
     
  9. LaLaLullaby

    LaLaLullaby Well-Known Member

    Internal physical pain is terrible, but you've held up for a month with it. Good willpower.
     
  10. Anastacia007

    Anastacia007 Member

    Hey, I went three weeks, and just relapsed a few days ago.....I wanna go longer.

    I'm proud of you for going this long...don't give up now!!
     
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