I wanna so badly and i mean BADLY. I feel sick because im so close. I haven't fucking done it in over a month. I hate my arms, i fucking hate it. everytime i walk around in just a t-shirt i have to press my arm against my stomach or chest to hide it from everyone. My chest bloody hurts so bad right now. My throat hurts. I just wanna do it so badly, deep. Get it over and done with. Everytime i think i've sorted shit out another things bring it all up again. I NEED TO SORT MY HEAD OUT!!! I NEED TO STOP THE FEELINGS!! I JUST NEED TO FUCKING STOP!!! AND ALL I CAN THINK OF IS ONE WAY OUT. IT WAS ALL MEANT TO GET BETTER. I WAS MEANT TO FEEL BETTER AFTER LAST WEEK. BUT FUCK NO!! STILL END UP LIKE THIS! STILL END UP WITH A FUCKING KNIFE LAYING NEXT TO ME, READY TO JUST CUT MY ARM TO SHREDS AND TO BE HONEST I DONT EVEN GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE!!