Dammit things were supposed to be getting better. Finally in a place where I can have real food, not stuff kept on heat lamps that makes me vomit, no homework, applying for jobs, signed up to take the GED. But what the fuck is the point? I've lost my best friend, he's the only reason I've been working towards this and not gone and offed myself ages ago. Whenever I talk to him I feel like shit cause he could fail a god damn Turing test, and I know he's not like this with other friends. Last weekend I was at the house of a mutual friend, and I looked over her shoulder and he was talking to her the same way he talks to everyone except me. He still says I'm his best friend and all this shit and I wish I could believe him but I can't. And my stomach hurts so badly and I just want to cut it open to rationalize the pain and dammit, i'm screwed.