I'm done. Seriously. I've had enough. I'm fed up of putting on this face, putting up this wall, making people think that i'm ok when inside they've broken me, they've killed the last bit of hope that I had. My boyfriend of 3 years has left me and then got straight with my best friend. The night he finished with me he slept with her. And I pretend that it doesn't phase me and i'm not bothered about it but inside i'm completely shattered. I don't want to be me anymore. I'm sick of this life, I can't take this anymore. The doctors don't do fuck all to help me, just brush me aside with more tablets. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO TAKE TABLETS TO GET THROUGH THE FUCKING DAY! I can feel that its all slowly surfacing and pretty soon its going to come to a head, and i'm going to end up doing something so stupid but it won't be at the time. No. I can't let that happen. I need to get help before it goes that far. But I can't let them see how I really feel. God why is this so hard?!?!? I thought I was doing well, I thought I was doing ok, I'd managed to fool myself into thinking I could cop, but the stupid thoughts at the back of my head all came to the front and now i'm drowning in my own fucking mind. UGH!