Fuck life, Fuck everything

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by impulse617, Jun 18, 2007.

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  1. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    I cry almost every day. The pain is so bad that I can't put it into words. I feel all alone in the world.....like I could die right now and it wouldn't matter to anybody (and nobody here can say that they care about me because they don't know me, hell if I died, nobody here would even know about it).

    I have really bad social anxiety, don't have many friends. The few friends that I did have all turned there backs on me. I have but one friend left and I feel like i'm a burden to her, like she would be better off without me. I know my family cares about me but I am not close with them either, I feel as though I am a burden to them as well. I feel like this whole fucken world would be so much better without me. The world doesn't need someone like me who feels like shit all the time and is gonna bring every one down. Some people might miss me but I know they would get over it.....I try to hold on for the VERY few people who do care but I just can't do it.

    Nobody understands, they all tell me that I'm being to dramatic. They have no clue the kind of pain that I'm in.....I just wish they could understand. I wish that for one second that they could feel the pain that I feel every fuckin second.

    It's all going to be over pretty soon. Maybe in a few months, when I turn 18. I have a plan and I plan on carrying it out. And it will result in my death. Considering that i'm posting this, it's obvious that a small part of me still wants to live. But even so, the pain is just to much for me to go on.
     
  2. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    Aye, there are times when I, too, wish that the world could feel my pain. And it's OK to feel that way. There is no wrong in feeling the way that we feel.

    It's good that you've given yourself some time. I wanted to be dead last year, but I gave myself some time to make sure that this is what I want to do, and make sure that those I do care about (even if they don't care about me) are provided for after my death. These next few months will allow that small part of you that wants to live to either prove itself or fade away. I may not care about you, but I do have respect for you since you've made the decision to wait.

    As always, if you wish to talk. I'm not a hard man to get in touch with. :)
     
  3. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it

    I don't know why but everytime I post here, nobody ever replies. Im lucky to get 1 reply.....I just don't get it but w/e.
     
  4. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi impulse, sorry you are in the depths of despair, I can empathise with you, I have been there too. I agree that people who have never been in this position can not really understand what its like.
    Are you seeing a doctor or therapist at all? Have you had any treatment?

    I am glad that you have posted this, also that you are able to see that
    a small part of you still wants to live. Hopefully you will be able to build on this with the proper help and support.

    I am sorry that you haven't had many replies to your posts, please do not let that put you off, sometimes threads can get lost in the 'flow' but we are a caring community and I hope that you will receive the support you need from Sf in the future.

    Take care Hazel x
     
  5. Freddy

    Freddy Guest

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm in the same position.
    I feel like crap often enough. I dont see the point of life.
     
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