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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shifter, Apr 10, 2009.

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  1. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    16 years, 16 long miserable years on this despicable planet. I have become smart enough to realize i am not fit to live because of my vacuous stupidity and weakness. Nearly my whole life i have been stepped on by kids and adults. whats even more humiliating is i couldda done something about it....but i didn't. being my stupid and deplorable self, i laid back and accepted it.....the shame of it all, its infuriating. as if i didn't have enough to infuriated and ashamed of, i only bring pain to those around me, how can i go on when people around get hurt cause of me, and stupid actions destroying a world that only abuse me and castrate my hope and rape my happiness....no matter how many people tell me im not worthless, no matter how many people i inspire with my stick animations, not how much i eat and master bait, i can never be happy. all the pain that has been en flicked on me.....i can never be happy. self harm was like master baiting, it feels good at the moment then vanishes with any positive feeling towards life.at first i was confused, but now everything is clear in my head. i am not meant for life, i should have realized this ages ago. if a world can abuse me while i am ignorant enough not to do anything about it while happiness is outta reach during making those around me suffer, then i am clearly not wanted despite you, my parents, my friends say. they only want me to stay because they have grown attached to me. a terrible mistake, and now its thier fault they are gonna cause themselves pain when i die at my own ignorant and bruised hand. its all clear to me now.....................................
    now i am no longer selfish for killing myself, id do you all a favor. i shouldda seen it coming. Im fat and feel like a fire is inside me when i do 7 push ups. 7 goddamn push ups, its been 3 days and i can still feel them, on a daily basis i experience back pain and or stomach pain. a result of being abused so much. i despise life and looking forward to death. im sick of my feeling messing up a world that won't have me. i don't even take care of my body because girls won't ever go for me, i been told they wud if they get to know me, but they will give me a chance, the world didn't. i used to kind and gentle, i used to cherish life, but happiness has always been beyond my grasp and always will be at this rate. i have become angry at the world and bitter in the shame of my stupidity and inept living style.goddamn, im so angry i feel like taking a few people with me before i go, what happened to my kindness, what happened me? why is it always me? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? im so pissed, and im as bitter as this earth is old. im just a terrible person in this terrible world, destined to burn in flames that created me in hell for eternity where my sekf truly belongs, it is only now that i realize this and i am fet up with life, i have no hope, i have no future, i have no more will to live.....in 3 years if i can't attain true happyness, im not only gonna commit suicide, but i might take revenge on this world for what it has done to me.

    im well aware by your standards im seriously messed up, i don't care anymore.fuck life, fuck this toxic rock, fuck every single person that can't understand me, fuck you feelings.......
  2. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    All you can do is try to remain true to yourself. Hold on to the person you are.
    I think some of us are just cursed with bad luck, bad circumstances. No one is really to blame, its just the random savagery of a cruel world.
    I feel envy when I see others living their lucky, perfect, happy lives. It is not fair, buts its just the way things are. I think to embrace bitterness will just turn you into someone you don't want to be.
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You are 16 y\o....
    Most of teenagers are suicidial, usally it goes away with time
    for some its stays... if you really have depression...
    no girls nor freands will make you happy
    I got Bi Polar disroder for 5 years, the only thing that keeps me from
    falling all the way are my pills, nothing ales ever helped me.

    You should try too, talk to your parents about treatment
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You've got every right to be angry, because the world has let you down in a huge way. And it's okay to vent, because you shouldn't have to keep all the anger bottled up inside. But you can get through it without killing yourself.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to take back control of your life.. I also am 100 lbs over weight but have started a new diet and have lost 16 lbs. already. I still have 75 to go..I eat meat, salads, vegs., and fruit.. Nothing else. The fruit helps take away those cravings for sweets. You should get out and walk a mile to start and slowly work your way up to three miles.. I'm 52 years old and if I can do it then so can you..It takes determination and will power..Good luck!!!
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Its funny how people say you are only 16 and then they say whatever age they are. Don't you see the point? If your on this website still, still depressed, how does that give hope.

    To know no matter what you do, you will end up fucking sad in the end. I know that feeling. The feeling where nothing is worth it anymore because you just know, youll end up crying in the corner, disappointed, tired, helpless and hopeless. Life where sadness and pessimism is routine and the only thing you know, the only thing this world has offered you. Find your way.
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