i beat up my brother threatened to kill him (wasnt serious threat) after him and his friends picked on me that whole day. I was there for that basturd every time some one bullyed him but this is how he repayed me. so i was sent to jail by my mother who lied to the cops and told them i threatened him with a knife when i got the knife he was no were close to him i grabbed it for suicide by cop. when i got out the door i pussyed out and threw it at the house. So my own mother sent me to jail for a month and after jail i got sent to a residential treatment center which is just a government brainwashing center, possing as help for misguided youth yah right. Jail broke down my mental stability or atleast what i had left now i hear a voice that a good friend told me is a posetion of a lesser demon. this voice tells me to hurt my self hurt others but i can control him for now. The theraspy at this place disgustes me my therapist isnt even licenced and she goes flailing all my personal shit to every one she can tell. im in a fucking place were people rape each other and are in there foir help because they rape little children. My faith in my country used to be so strong i would have layed my life down for any citizen in this country even the ones who dispise me. but now they censor me take away my bill of rights no freedom just what they tell me to do. they say what i can and cant do what i can and cant say. Hell im an anarchist now this is what they have bred. i live in a country were a person can send you to jail just by saying you did the crime that was straw one my mother did to me that was a year ago. now i did a crime and they added a bunch of other crimes to my wrap sheet crimes i didnt do. and if your wondering how i am able to write this letter its because those basturds let me have a home pass which is a nice break from this place but its only for 2 days. so now im on the brink of going insain. hell i want to kill my self its on my mind 24/7 and i kicked suicide for three months i kicked depression for 3 months. i dont know what to do help only hurts me worse now that im a "criminal". i hate my life and you know what im only gonna get 2 days to read your letters of hope and posibly help so i thank those who have read this far. but i do not know what to do. do i kill my self or do i go insain and live the rest of my natural life in a loony bin drugged up.