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fuck my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jungle420, Jan 15, 2012.

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  1. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    I have nothing in life therefore I want to kill myself.

    no friends
    no acquaintances
    no job
    no money
    no transport of my own
    no hobbies
    no one to talk to
    constantly alone

    ...and no future. the story of my life forever, never changes, never will. Im surprised I have a fucking roof over my head that's about all I have.

    I haven't even left the house technically for years, but literally for months. I only leave to buy something at the shop for 5minutes

    I'm 22 in 11days I think i should give myself a suicide birthday present.
  2. ItsOkayEllijah

    ItsOkayEllijah Well-Known Member

    It gets better. At least I think it does.
  3. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    thanks but it really doesn't, I got told that every year for last 4 years, it really gets worse in my case.
  4. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    Hey there, I used to be in a similar situation, but things are getting a bit better for me. I wish I could do more to help, really I do but, yeah :(. If you ever want to talk about anything, please feel free to get a hold of me on skype.
  5. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    I know what kind of hell it is to be alone and locked away from the world. It will never change if you don't go anywhere and try to break free from it. You seem to be lacking independence, stuck in a house with people you can't stand. A job, even a dead end, part time job could at least help you get you a car and an excuse to get out and away from those things. Work is a great place to start finding friends or acquaintances, and you could even meet other people through them. It's helped me at least. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have do matter and I'm grateful for having met them.
  6. Takotsubo

    Takotsubo Well-Known Member

    ^ beat me to it , what he said . get a job and meet new people , who knows you may even find a lady at your new job.
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I have learned that life is more barable with money. I recommend you get a job. If anything it will help pass the time quicker. That is what I do... I have a job and time gets away from me. It is another form of suicide for me.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey there, I used to think like you do, but believe me if you make the effort, it really can get better. Anyway I just wanted to let you know I read your post and you're listened to at least, I wish there was another way I could help, kind regards, lynn x
  9. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

  10. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    Many thanks as always, I have posted similar threads complaining about my issues, the thing is im looking for a job, and damn hard too. Sent off for and applied for literally a thousand or so jobs with usually no response back (its usually all email applications now) and ive also never had an interview even. The job situation is extremely tight, I could possibly land a job at McDonalds at best but I haven't applied for that kind of job cos I know id be no good with customers. I guess ill just keep looking..almost 2years now searching to no avail, the job situation, particularly in this part of England is really dire and pathetic.
  11. Takotsubo

    Takotsubo Well-Known Member

    aren't there like job centers around ? they can help with interviews and help you look for a job im sure. i hope you're not just emailing the applications , remember to send in a resume` , call them and see what's up ... call and check on the status of your application see if they had gotten to it if not call back a week later and recheck . tell them you are real interested in a position in their place.
  12. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    Well I have been emailing them because most companies request that you email to apply. I also attach my CV (Resume) along with it. I'll be honest I don't phone many companies at all because I usually just feel more comfortable emailing them. I think yeah I will start phoning more companies rather than just emailing my application in and hopefully I will look more interested then. I tend to avoid it because im not all that good on the phone.

    As for job centres well yeah I claim benefits to get by whilst looking for work and so attend sign ins. I'm going to ask them again about apprenticeships and if any are gonig because I think you can get paid whilst you learn, that would be ideal although they seem hard to come by.

    The only thing with getting a dead end job is that it will depress the hell out of me, since I know I am worth more than that. I know im not dumb and could achieve alot greater so im just confused. hm nevermind

    Thanks for replies again everyone
  13. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Addressing your health and well being might be the best first step. It's hard enough to get a job under any circumstances, and even harder if you are feeling suicidal.

    You need a little bit of material things to be happy. As long as your basic material needs are met, your health and the quality of your relationships are far more important.

    Things could get a lot better for you even if you don't find a job.
  14. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    ive been down the whole health road a few years now, what ive learned is that health care around here is pathetic. and plus it does not solve my problems, pills nor anything else.. and everyone ive seen has just had the attitude "im just doing my job i dont give a fuck about your issues really, just gimme my fucking pay". wankers the lot of them

    and my life still sucks like it did 3 years ago. living a pointless existence exempt from any social interaction at all.
  15. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    One thing I have learned. Is that we are only exempt from social interaction if we let ourselves be. It is just as much your choice to not talk to people as other is theirs. No one party is more at fault than the other.
  16. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    I see what you are saying and it is true, but not only do I not have any friends Im not particularly close to any family members, OF course I love all my family but I cannot talk with them therefore I choose to isolate because I just want friends. My only option is to attempt to talk to strangers.. and even "popular" people will probably have issues doing that. I feel stuck and isolated, I really want to change rather than dwell on my problems, but I never know how to change anything.
  17. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I agree with these statements. It's our choice not to talk to people, and we shouldn't worry so much about what people think. Most people would be open to a conversation and probably be friendly. We just need to get over our fears of rejection and try to be more sociable. It's hard but it can be done.
  18. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    most EVERYjob will require you to interact with other people some way or another.. need to just keep your chin up, build some courage, and deal with it.. you're still young! don't give up yet. :)

  19. curtn34

    curtn34 Active Member

    Hey Jungle...

    I recognize your username because we talked briefly a few months ago, I don't know if you remember. I'm sorry to hear that things have not improved for you. I just made a thread and I can very much relate to your situation. I don't know, if you'd like someone to talk to I'm here.
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Lets say that I know exactly waht you are talking about. Again, it is a choice. You choose to not associate. Look at it this way. Popular person with lots of friends has what to lose by not talking to you. You have what to lose by not talking to him or her?

    I find the best way to change is to do something different. Break your routine, find something that you have never done. Even better something you would never consider doing. The very fact that you did something new forces you to change and evolve. Often times it will give you a nice adrenilan rush. The feeling will make you feel better. Now you have a new experience and you have changed. You have grown, and improved. You are now different.
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