I will die soon, nobody can say anything or do anything to stop it. I won't tell you when or how, but I will try and find a way to let you guys know, once the deed is done, I don't mind sticking around in the mean time, and don't be surprised if i act completly normally. I want to try and tie up some loose ends, and make things as easy as I can for the couple of people that I'm going to hurt, there isn't much I can do about you guys I'm afraid, but regardless of what you say here, most of you will manage to cope, I'm sure.
A couple of people I will hurt really badly, I know, and the damage limitation I can do is minimal but I will do what I can. They are no longer reason enough for me to continue to suffer, they will find a way to cope in time, and if they don't then (without meaning to seem cruel) they can always make the same decision as I have done.
I care for you, Matt. and I will be hurt. More than you think. I know I haven't really been around lately and I'm sorry for that. Know that I care about you more than I told you. And you've helped me a great deal. Remember that url you gave me? it's helped me. I'm in touch with someone from there now and it might really help me, Matt.
Thank you so much. Please do reach out for me. Next time I can get on msn I'll be there for you.
However. No matter how much it will hurt. I respect your decision. If this is what you want and what makes you happy (even if it's only for that time left), then I'm at peace with it.
Don't forget I'm always here for you though.
You can always email, Message, PM or whatever, me.