fuck someone help me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Jonathan, Nov 23, 2011.

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  1. Jonathan

    Jonathan Well-Known Member

    i can't do this anymore....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun what is triggering you now hun what is bringing out all this pain
  3. Jonathan

    Jonathan Well-Known Member

    Everyone hates me
    The friends I had in the UK are no longer there, I don't know them, they don't know me
    My friends here in Taiwan, don't know me, they don't know what happened.
    They don't know I have ADHD. I only told one other guy who has it as well. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone. So when I act weird, i get people who laugh at me. I feel sad.
    I overheard someone call me stupid in Mandarin, they thought I couldn't understand. I told them to go fuck themselves in Mandarin, I bet they understood that. I can't believe I said that to them.
    I'm generally failing at life.
    I can't see my family surviving much longer.
    I have major anxiety issues.
    The girl I like, I'm too scared to talk to, she probably thinks I don't like her. But I always think I'm not good enough.
    I was thinking back at what life COULD have been. My family were quite successful however now it has been destroyed.
    I was going to study computer science in the UK. But I gave that up prematurely, now I am studying something I'm struggling with.
    I made a good friend who is Japanese, my god did I talk to him for hours about life. He is going back to Japan. He has his own issues. If anything he is my one and only true friend.
    I just want to do this stupid military service that I'm required to do in this country, but I can't even do that and they are forcing people to do it.
    I'm having to make a decision as to whether I should even stay in Taiwan. But what can I do? Nothing. I have no choices. I'm stuck.
    I want to learn Mandarin, but I cannot, no matter how hard. I'm frustrated with myself as I had to read a 2 page Mandarin dialogue. But I read it as if I had not studied. Yet if I read it by myself, I could have read it so cleanly. I fucking hate anxiety, it kills me.
    While everyone is going to next class ahead, I'm having to repeat the same classes.
    My cousin who lives near the university I'm going to is kicking me out, because her father had a medical issue and has to come live with them since his place doesn't have a lift.

    I could go on and fill the entire forum with posts, but those aren't even the biggest problems I have. I'm too ashamed to list a lot of the bigger problems I have facing.

    I looked at those pills today and thought, why not? Nothing has improved. NOTHING. I thought I was going to be happy. I've reverted, I am at the stage where I was at my worst, the time I attempted. However this time I feel I'm even worse.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh you are so overwhelmed dam eh I think if you are suididal you need to talk to someone to get some help Get your cousin to take you to hospital and get on some support to pull you out okay ADD is treatable there are newer medication now with less side effects ask doctor about them okay I am sorry you are so confused hun but suicide is not the answer getting help is hugs
  5. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I know you want to drink yourself to death. That used to be me a couple of years ago, i drunk but never died. Then i walked towards a speeding vehicle but the driver swerved. My only fear was, where would i find myself when i die?
  6. Jonathan

    Jonathan Well-Known Member

    I can't do that to them. I can't do that to myself. I can't... that is not possible.

    I'm atheist. Once I die, I die, I have nothing to convince me otherwise.
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