It's been a while.. Like a gap in the mind that wasn't fulfilled. In Feb. 2006 I've slit my wrist and, whatever I felt later - no, I still never said that I regret even a bit that I did it. By the time I wasn't away from control, OK as always. Yes, I agree the world is beautiful. Not enough. Through this year I felt lots ups and downs. I was always ready to repeat that. This is not something depending on me. The only things that kept me alive through all this time are pages of my damned screenplay that I was writing hoping some big deal will get interested and I'll finally get out. All I want is to get off from Ukraine to US. That's all. I can live like in Fight Club and that's great! I don't need anything. Give me my peace. I can't even express how I want to stay alive. I am having many dreams. Making the music.. What the hell? I can't take. Fuck this full of crap movie industry, I like my script but nobody is upcoming. After all these dreams, expectations, I wasn't even thinking of suicide, because I can hope, after all - just die? Fuck you god wherever you are for creating me. I don't know should I be surprised or not. The decision is clear. I am just fucking angry and depressed.