Right, this might be my last post on here. I've got the 12 gauge loaded and sat beside me. I'm not staying here any longer than I have to. All I ever wanted was a normal life. thats it. My dream is someones mundane reality. I tried to stay positive, I tried to stay focused. but enough is enough. All it would have taken is my dad to stay in one night and talk to me instead of fucking off to the pub every night. All it would have taken is my mum to actually listen to me instead of shouting and screaming at me. All it would have taken is for someone, anyone, to say they love me, instead of spitting at me in the street or telling me what a failure I am. At the end of the day, all I am is an overweight, ugly freak with no rights to live. I used to fear death, now I spend my nights praying to the so called "God" of the christians that I can die. All my close friends are dead. Those friends I do have left never bother with me. Why could none of them spend any time with me? Am I honestly such a bad person that I don't deserve someone who loves me? I'll admit, I'm a killer and I pay the price every fucking day. I can't take it any more. Thank you all for everything you have done for me (apart from that one c*nthole, you know who you are) If I see the dawn, I'll be very suprised.