Fuck you all

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by aki, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    FUCK YOU fuck you all. What the hell? What the hell did I do? What do I do wrong? Please tell me cause I just don't understand...I just don't get it. Rejected over and over and over again...and then i get angry and get told that I haven't been rejected....DO NOT give me that fucking bullshit. Why the hell do I get treated like such an idiot? I can see through you....why is this world such lies? And no one seems to get it the same as me....not lucky enouh to cope but not unlucky enough to get sympathy...who the hell are you to judge suffering...who the hell are you? I am screaming inside....I am screaming for help....btu I get looked over over again, I get laughed at, pitied, embarassed looks. Don't you fucking hypocrites reply....do not reply with your lies....how the hell cn you understand? how the hell can you if you are accepted, if you don't have to go through this absolute misery of being rejected or even worse, had your spirits lifted pathetically and cruelly (I know its only my fault for being so easily excited and childish and gullible and hopeful) to be let down again, exchanged for someone better, who looks so smug, who gets hugs when they're down....I have to look at this....dying inside....and know that behind it all....NO ONE cares. There's always someone better and more important, even with my own fucking mother. YEah I'm going to fucking say it. MAke fun of me if you want to, I am seriously past caring. LIFE ISN'T FUCKING FAIR. Don't give me an empty hug, I want your honesty, thats all I want. TThe worst thing is, I know, I am a hypocrite, I am a hypocrite because I am not honest. But I DO care. I care about friends. If I leave its probably down to my own self hatred/low self esteem, i probably think that you don't like me anymore, so I'll spare you the embarrasment. That is a thing I am honest about. I love to help and encourage the underdog, I CARE! So why the hell don't I get anythking back?
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope you feel better after getting that off your chest hun.
     
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I hope the venting has helped you release all that you've bottled up. :smile:
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Ripper,

    Sometimes people get overlooked honey. It does not mean that you are cared about less. It means you have to speak louder like you just did. Sometimes people can't figure out a way to help. I get what you mean about the empty hugs. They become so infuriating you want to tell people just to stop and actually offer up words instead of empty hugs. I sometimes wonder if people do the empty hugs or the get betters because they feel they need to. They become empty of meaning and just full of "oh i'm doing this because I feel obligated"

    I'm sorry you are suffering. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know anything about you or what you're going through. Just please know my PM box is open anytime you need a rant. If I don't get to it right away I will get to it when I get home from work or back from doing whatever. Please know you aren't alone in the fight and struggle to find a balance between living and being happy. It seems like sometimes it's an endless, uphill battle but eventually that hill has to even out and just become an endless road. Feel free to talk anytime hun.

    Kellz
     
  5. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    it wasn't about this forum...it was about the whole world really :dunno:
     
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean.

    Shitty isn't it.

    If you want to talk about what made you feel rejected, maybe that would help, but I've been through similar feelings.

    You might not believe it but you've made me smile being on this forum and talking to me like you have done.
     
  7. Datsik

    Datsik Forum Buddy

    Dude I hope you feel better.

    Like, yeah, life's not fair, but you have to be patient... That's what I learend..

    Peace.
     
  8. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I was really under the illusion that i was the only one who felt that way.

    I'm glad you posted that, it's nice to know you're not the only one.

    Guess ive been a hypocrit too, not seing that im not the only one suffering. Most of the time i just cant seem to find the energy to even be a help to anyone....

    I really do hope you find peace, as for anyone else suffering.
     
  9. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Offer still stands that if you need to talk I'm around. Take care.