I really dont agree. But I do know what you mean. Looks are made to be such an important part of social standings and relationships. But like others have said.. it's truly not about the looks, it's about the person inside. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". "True beauty lays within"
Those who can see past the surface are the people I want in my life. And they do exist.
Do you want to talk about why you feel this way? It may help to hear from other people who have been there, and what they have discovered in their life and people that's helped them change their views on it.
In anycase, a very none fuck you to you Best wishes, and I hope you post back soon.
I'm not easy on the eyes. I would show you a picture of me but I am already on the terrorist triggering watch list. :unsure: Besides I wouldn't want to blind anyone.
Looks are not important. Everyone appreciates beauty, but the true measure of beauty is what's on the inside of a person. The shell (body) ages and sags with time. In time regardless of how physically attractive a person is, they will have to rely only on their inner beauty.
i know you sick of reading this but looks are in the eye of the beholder. I hate what i see in the mirror but my Bf tells me i'm beautiful its easier to not believe him and continue hating myself but I believe that's how he see's me. He is always pulling himself down, but as shallow as this makes me seem I wouldn't be with him if i didn't find him sexually appealing.
It comes down to personal choice. Some people dont like scars, some people do. some people dont like brown hair but some people do. Some people dont like Big boobs but some people do. some people dont like fat people but some people do. some people dont like skinny people and some people do.
fat, skinny, short,tall, white,black,blond,brown,freckles,scars,birthmarks.longhair,bald, we are all unique. Hell there are even people who like dead people,,, theres always a market,,, put yourself out there.
Even Hitler was married!!
i think this "looks are everything" belief comes from tv, magazines, newspapers, if you are not a size 0 you are chubby, if you are not xxxx tall you are stumpy...and so on, the media feed our insecurities and deepen them.
i know some physically beautiful people but they were the most mean spirited self obsessed people too. looks are all relative, who are you comparing yourself to? everyone has different perspectives on beauty, just because YOU may not FEEL beautiful does not mean that others dont. maybe you suffer BDD and in that case need help, but by whose standards are you judging yourself? :hug:
To the original poster - I feel your anger - I used to hate the world and would have worn a Tshirt saying fu** the world.
As for looks - I've seen the male models, and am proud I don't look like I spent the past 6 months on a diet of heroin.
As for Julie C - I'm sure she is just trying to lighten the situation - thank God she and others do not look like female models, 6 stone nothing, and with heroin eyes. Come to the grave eyes - man, they look about as sexy as a skeleton in suspenders, - and as ridiculous!
I was never born with looks that would bowl over the ladies either. But, I guess God already knew I was just too talented and great to be bestowed with looks as well as an amiable personality and humour and a real 6 pack - the one that you cannot actually see - but try and punch me there - I feel nothing, see?
When I was young - I was brainwashed like anyone into thinking the 'ideal' woman was all about the aesthetics - what you see on the outside, the looks. These days, people have been brainwashed totally into identifying with what makes us attractive. Everyone we see on TV, or the movies - they are all good looking - all the 'perfect' shape as dictated by the people who control the industry.
Even people who read the news for Gods sake!
But the movies and TV are not real life. I have no TV - people are shocked by this as if I must be tapped in the head or something. I do download the odd series of TV programmes - so rarely see adverts - but I know that every company, every product out there - generally uses attractive people to sell the product.
Girls are WORSE!!!
As a young boy - sure we ripped people apart over looks. God help any teacher who had a wig or a limp. That cruelty was a phase though - boys are cruel but girls tend to gossip more and that is a way to exclude people and make other girls the outcasts. Usually, its is the most pretty girl who is a target.
Not every kid is able to stand up to bullies - but those who can ought to do so. In my day, we were told to fight bullies if we had to. Fair fights mind, none of this weapons and everyone joining in if the fight goes the 'wrong' way.
Anyhow, I agree that beauty is in the inside. There are so many factors that make a women 'ideal' for us that its a big list indeed. Woman have a big advantage as some make up can make up and a nice dress, can transform a 'plain' women. I'm not talking painting yourself with war paint! I'm just saying you have that advantage there.
Many women wear little or no make up - but if they dress well and smell nice - fresh from a shower more than a bucket of supermarket perfume and do whatever they do with their hair - that is attractive.
With us men - all we can do is wash, shave, be clean, maybe wear something more than your old T-shirt with the Grateful Dead Tour 68 on it - try leaving tracksuit trousers for athletes also.
THAT is all the basic attraction. But if someone comes over to you - or you to them - we expect communication of sorts - a connection, and that is were it gets deep. We all allow people to see what we want them to see - and people only look at what they want to see also. Until you know someone - they won't be lowering the 'mask' we all wear. To feel comfortable in someone's company, enough to open up about things - that takes time. How they look will not matter to you if they do not understand you or connect to you.
I know someone who is blind. Now bear in mind that whilst we see this as a negative, he has long gotten over the negatives and has some positives to bear witness to.
Being blind, says he, you really 'see' people. I mean, with not having the power of sight, it takes away the deception people might otherwise pull.
If I was going to ask anyone about any women who he might know (he is quite popular) then he would be THE man as he is free of those preconceptions we have about people.
He knows, instinctively , if someone is kind, generous, caring. Looks tell us nothing in particular but we have been taught that looks are valuable. We are taught gold is valuable also but if someone offered you a block of gold, you would have it tested, lest the block is lead and the gold coating just a thin veneer. Beauty is like that thin veneer - it means nothing unless the beauty runs all the way through to the heart and soul.
The blind guy could not say if she 'looked' pretty or whatever. Unless he had felt her - which is a good thing for the single blind male guy.
So, if a blind man would be the best person to ask about a potential lover - ask yourself, why we base all our preconceptions about love being based on this idealised IMAGE.
Personality is everything in many ways - because if the person you love is someone who you really get along with - that is what love is all about. Like a brilliant friendship, with the extra added values.
Nobody chooses a friend over looks. It is always about personality, usually someone who makes you laugh.