Fuck you, BPD.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by TooShyToScream, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    He was right. When my fiancee said that my diet was just an impulse he was right. That's my life. Impulses. No long-term commitments, no patience, no goals, nothing. Just impulse after impulse and short term gains that I end up losing anyway or that end up making things worse in the end. I can't believe that this is my life. The impulse to go on a diet is over and now I have impulse to eat whatever the hell I want when I want, and I can't stop it because I don't care to. When I want something, I just do it and sacrifice everything in order to do it. I don't care about the consequences. With my diet, this was a good thing because I stayed so committed and loyal to it. But now, i've moved on to my next fix just like that. I don't want this to be me. I really don't.
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    :hiya: honey it doesnt have to be you if you dont want it to be. But dont beat yourself up about the things you dont achieve praise yourself for the things you have done well ! Theres nothing wrong with being impulsive as such unless like you say it makes you unhappy. I have 0 motivation to do anything and what you need is motivation to keep on track with just one or two things at a time ...its all based on the same principle of making yourself follow something through to the end. I have found lists help me to be more organised and it was members here that gave me the ideas to do it. Maybe if you post what it is you want to follow through with when you know ppl can give you some advice on how to do it xxxxxxx
  3. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I want to do a lot of things I guess.

    Learn to drive.
    Follow through with losing the weight I want to lose.
    Stick with finishing my first college degree (I'm about halfway there).
    Save up enough to visit another country.
    Move out with my fiancee.

    I'm so slow with finishing school though. And I can't get a minimum wage job because I can't stick to the commitment (at least with school I get plenty of breaks that make it bearable), plus my social anxiety makes it much worse. We can't move out until either I get a job or he gets a better job. We suck at saving money because we're both impulsive spenders and addicted to opiates. We've blown 300 on heroin in the past 2 months. I can't stick to my diet because of my emotions and everyone around me eating junk food. Everything is just too hard :( and as for driving, I just keep putting it off because I'm scared to learn.