Sometimes as I look at the people around me, I start to wonder why why why and why. I am not only thinking about my situation as well as the predicament I am in, what I am talking about is this world of ours. I mean, there are people who's got to scavenged on leftovers and garbages to live yet there are people feeling their pets with delicious food? Its just such bullshit! And there are people who are totally deprived even though they are clearly in need yet some people who are merely lame attention seekers got all the help and comfort from people all over the world? How can I even stomach that? There are people who easily got away even though they have done wrong, and some have even fucked up other people's lives and still they manage to just get out of it and continue living their lives while the victim remains a victim forever or at perhaps a very long time. I wonder, even if I do manage to beat my depression and suicidal feelings, can I actually live life knowing that I have to see this world revolving meaninglessly each and every fucking day? I mean, does that even make any sense at all? Not to me. Its even more absurd to think that we humans were born to go through this shit all the time, and its obvious we didn't have a choice. And its so much easier for someone who's living a good life to believe in God and one of the people I know told me that 'God always have place for people in his heavenly light, all you have to do is ask'. And the only good question left for me to raise is - WHAT THE FUCK?????!!!!!!!!! So I am supposed to believe that we have to tell God to take us away from this shit even though its so obvious that we are going through such harsh times? Well, what can I say? Maybe its true that we have to accept the fact that some people were born to live a fucked up life, and others are born to be happy for their entire life. Haha...maybe thats the fucking truth or something like that! Maybe I should still believe that to exist in this world is truly a curse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!