fuck

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Entropy, Oct 13, 2007.

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  1. Entropy

    Entropy Well-Known Member

    well i cant even come close to killing myself or putting myself in a situation were i have a reasonable chance of getting killed by either cops or some other fuckheads...


    fuck

    its been 3 years now

    i want to fucking die...

    cant scratch myself... but I REALY REALY want to die...

    3 ... fucking years... every night, not sleep, wanting to die... wtf....

    fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    tonight i couldnt even drive drunk or slit my wrist... fuck... not even the wrong way fuck.... wont never end... i hope you all fucking die, if i ever see u i will be trying to skullfuck u better kill me first...
     
  2. Entropy

    Entropy Well-Known Member

    4 hrs ago i should have cut deeper but i didnt

    <mod edit: bunny - methods>

    i doubt anyone would have noticed me....

    i could have hidden myself.....

    wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy caaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntttttttttttttttt iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii dooooooooo ittttttttttt fuck......
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2007
  3. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Entropy please talk with us and do not do something foolish. Calling the hospital or ambulance if U are in this state would be a good idea! Please seek professional help if U are hurting yourself. U can also talk with any of us here.
     
  4. twilightki

    twilightki Well-Known Member

    Three years is a long time. You must be very strong to endure whatever has made you suicidal for that long. Mind telling us about it?
     
  5. Entropy

    Entropy Well-Known Member

    i dont trust you or anyone...

    and no ones on my side...

    i am alone and you are all against me...

    so yes, I do mind, die plz k thx.........
     
  6. Entropy

    Entropy Well-Known Member

    It seems like its the only good long term solution............... or i will just continue to sit here outraged at the human race, at everyone.

    Because, you are all selfish, evil, corrupt. Because no one has any honor, because, to you all I am evil and bad.

    At least I am honest.

    At least I try to keep my mouth shut when something does not need to be said... but i dont know.........


    perhaps I have to say this, you are all week, you love eachother, or at least you pretend too because you fear being alone as I feel. You all fear that you might be like me, that you couldnt bear the suffering....

    Well, i cant bear the suffering either, and I do not have a solution because I have already went down the logical path of trans-humanist pessimism... sorry its a bullshit term but I do not have a better way to describe my mentality.

    Lets start with how my world is defined....

    There is no god...
    What I perceive is what there is.
    What I choose to perceive, how I choose to perceive it is reality.
    I believe the underlying order of nature is to organize itself, and improve upon its own systems, and to evolve. People should seek to better themselves.

    I believe everything is interrelated, the closest to my beliefs would be the religion of the Cherokee Indians, or so i have heard. Each person is part of a greater, and each thing is part of a greater, and has an effect on the state of the greater, as well as lesser aspects of itself/themselves.

    The system I am a part of is like being apart of the worst imaginable nightmare possible, with an excess of so many misguided, useless individuals focused on their own individual tiny microcosims of ME-NESS. I am no longer satisfied by simply consuming resources for the supposed betterment of "Our Nation", "Our Family", "Our Community", fulfilling selfish desires is equally a waste of my time, nothing brings me any fulfillment, when I know in the end it will all be whited out by the greater numbers of intolerant, ignorant, and evil assholes out there.

    I constantly hear people bitch about their politicians and freedoms, and how they are so afraid of evil murders, rapists, and terrorists, and corrupt corporations. Yet no one is willing to stand on their own and do something about it, and no one is willing to join me in my army and cleanse the earth of all that is disorderly as compared to my world view.

    Lets put it this way, I expect you all to bow down and submit to my will, and act rationaly for once in your lives, or to suffer my wrath, because im in a very bad mood, and A. im either going to kill myself or you all as a solution, you are all fools. You lie, cheat steel, worship others.

    There is only one true path to enlightenment and that is to better your god damned self NOT TO MANDATE TO OTHERS and enforce rules and society and bullshit.

    you are a part of the problem when you read in the news that some bad shit happend, and you are not doing a damn thing about it AFTER THE FACT - infact 99% of the shit the news reports is not even a real problem, the only real problems are the ones people need to address themselves, not some SUPPOSED SHIT THAT MIGHT HAPPEN BECAUSE WE ARE AFRAID OF THE DARK problems.

    it doesnt really matter if your gay, or pro-life, or pro-choice, its none of your business what other people do with themselves.

    The #1 people on my shitlist...

    Our great US government which has wholey corrupted our constitution and bill of rights, which seeks to hand us to the slavering majority of imbeciles who wish to rule us under tyranny in the name of jesus christ and cute little fucking puppies. AKA special interest groups
    Christianity as a whole
    Gangbangers and wannabe gangbangers that are fuckheads
    people who say their Christian and american and bear illigitemet children and to go on and burden our society with their mistakes dipshit teenagers that have not got a clue by the age of 13
    Assholes who cant drive
    Fucktard terrorists if they ever get close to me im going to rip their fucking faces off, but im more worried about the welfare bitches on my street who go to church every day and vote for the fucking dip shits in power, work for the fucking dip shits in power, and generally refuse to rebel. then any terrorist. infarct at least terrorists BELIEVE they serve a purpose rather then going along with a banal existence in the name of human peace and happiness...

    Let me into the gates of heaven so that I may tear that kingdom down to shreds is all I have to say... puffy clouds and happy bliss, is for naught.

    The borg, thats what you all deserve, to be controlled, but I am tired of being thrown in the lot with the rest of you, im tired of this pigsty you have all created for yourselves, I wish to ascend above you and rise to glory on the corpses of my enemies and bring about a new order or logic, and sanity. One where the sapient are valued instead of just expected to shut up, pay taxes and get shit on by the majority.

    Sorry folks, but im not enjoying the things you are, and im to smart to enjoy life as YOU ALL see it should be, so FUCK YOU.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 19, 2007
  7. Entropy

    Entropy Well-Known Member

    so as you all can see ive already made my descisions, and put a fair amount of thought into it.

    Now my #1 problem is executing one of those options. (for the clueless those solutions are suicide, or genocide of the entire human race).

    Eject... cant eject... im too week, to stupid, to afraid...

    Kill everyone, then ide just be as bad a monster as you all believe me to be, but ide be right. and justified, and honorable. Humanity is flawed, it shall fail... its worth nothing when the individuals in the greatest nation on this earth can not be proud of the species they belong too. when every day we are reminded how fultile our every effort at "self-betterment is"... I HAVE ASKED NOTHING, and only tried to set the example, and im persecuted for having set the example and lived my life, and yes ive made mistakes, but those mistakes have not been near as terrible as 90% of the mistakes i see people make every day... and THEY WILL NOT LISTEN.

    The fact that no one will listen, that no one will take the opportunity to rise above the weak frail sentimental trapped creatures they are... is the reason i have so much animosity towards them all.... LEARN TO PROGRAM YOURSELF LIKE A COMPUTER... people... stop annoying the shit out of me please i can not take it anymore... yes i am defective cause a non-defective being would have annihilated you all for being stupid already.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 19, 2007
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