Fuck

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Matt93, Nov 1, 2010.

  1. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I'm really fucking depressed. Nobody in my life sees that though, because I don't let them. They think I'm hunky dory, and fine, but all they really need to do is look at me, and then they'll see I'm crying out for help.

    I don't really know why I'm wanting help so badly though, I know for a fact there aren't enough people around who actually care to help me. Why oh why must I try to make something of my life, whether it be relationship wise or anything else? Because it's really pointless doing so, because no matter what I do I lose it.

    I'm sick of trying, in fact I'm not going to try any more. I'm just going stop, I'm just going to give up. I'm not going to bother trying to give myself anything nice, or anything worthwhile. All I'm going to do is work at college. Nothing more, nothing less. Screw trying just to have it taken away.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    think you should talk to your family let them know how you are feeling they care but they are not mind readers Help them help you get talking Talk to coucillors at your college get some help for you okay don't stay isolated with all this pain.:hugtackles:
     
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Heh, I have talked to counsellors at my college. It's absolutely pointless, they're shit, trust me. My family know I'm bipolar. But I just hide the way I feel, it's natural.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hope in time you can be open to your family and get the support you will need to get thru okay please don't keep them in the dark it is not fair to them or to you.
     
  5. Astronaut

    Astronaut Member

    I agree with violet. At some point, you're gonna need to take that mask off. That mask will kill you slowly. You just gotta be like, "fuck this mask, I don't care who thinks what" and you just need to let people know you're sad, everything's not okay. Some of them probably suspect everything isn't okay even though you want them to. At least give them a heads up.
     
  6. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    To be quite honest with you all, I want this mask to kill me. I can't kill myself, too much of a pussy for it, so I welcome anything else that would kill me.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    no no you want peace you want the sadness the pain to go away and there is help for that okay. Come on you need to reach out to someone okay talk to someone anyone and let the sadness go okay. Talk to your doctor get on meds to help you feel better get therapy start it now okay the mask willonly deteriate it wonl't be there for ever do not waiste valuable time okay start to heal now please don't wait years like idid don't okay get help now don't suffer when it is not necessary
     
  8. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I'm on meds. Not helping
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    then the meds are not right for you try new ones i had to try several time before ones worked for me wellbutrin i found worked for me not the other ones come on try again the right medication will make a difference it does i am telling you i have been there and it does.
     
  10. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Meh, I like the idea of an easy way out.
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thats because you mind is so clouded with the medication your thoughts would be clearer and you would be making a better choice don't think okay just try new medication and see for yourself
     
  12. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I've tried getting an appointment at the doctors, but hi-de fucking ho. I have to wait nearly 2 months before I can see them. Thus meaning, I can't even get my next prescription of my current meds. Shit.
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    go to emergency at hospital to get your meds refilled or go to a walk in clinic with the empty bottle and the will give you rx to fill it. don't have to wait 2 mths to get your meds okay call in doctor in emerg get enough repeats until you see doctor in 2 mths take care
     
  14. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I suppose I could do that. But the nearest is like 10 mile away, and I have no way of getting there.
     
  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    call services in your community and see if there is someone that can give you a ride there or give you another finances to get a taxi bus but do it okay
     
  16. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I'll see what I can do.
     
  17. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    really my bro calls community services and gets a driver to take him to his doctor meetings sometimes i hope you find that service so you can learn to use it when you need it okay take care.
     
  18. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I don't know if we actually have that kind of thing in England, but yeah. I can't really call yet though, it's a tad late...