Fuck

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Domo, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    God fucking damnit.

    I am trying so damn hard to hold it together but these cracks are turning into craters.

    I've had these really fucking difficult few days and i didn't answer my phone at all yesterday.

    Mum just rang me at work and was really upset and angry at me and was saying shit like 'if you don't want to associate with this family then just tell me. Your father and i run around doing everything for you and you won't even speak to us'....

    And you know what, it's fucking true. I am a selfish piece of shit and i take and i take and i suck everyone dry. I am so fucking toxic.

    And what she was calling for? My grandpa's cancer has come back, which i knew. But this time it is worse then it ever have been. It's a 2cm tumour in his throat and they are going to have to cut part of his jaw out and part of his tongue again.

    I can't fucking handle this. None of it.

    Everything in my life is a battle. I am constantly fighting for some semblance of a decent life.

    And i am tired. Tired of living in this skin and this sick fucking mind.
     
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    All i can do, is send you a hug, so i do, a great big bear one. x
     
  3. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Its like Hollyoaks :eek:hmy:

    Sending you one big fat hug :hug:
     
  4. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hi Domo

    I'm really sorry I'm not really good with words tonight. I want to say I don't think you're selfish or toxic - you have been able to offer support and kind words to not only me but others on this site, and I think that takes a level of selflessness that unfortunately I'm not able to return right now.

    I'm sorry about your grandfathers cancer and your mothers anger and inability to understand. I understand what you mean when you say you are simply tired of it all, I feel that way too, a lot lately especially.

    :hug: and I hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Please take care of you. xx
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    *hugs* Domo...
    I don't answer the phone when I'm really down ..I wish your Mum would understand
     
  6. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone.

    Feeling a bit calmer now.

    I think my mum is just really obviously stressed out about her dad being sick. I sent her some flowers.

    Appreciate all the much needed hugs.