fucked up self image

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by fixintodie, Dec 20, 2007.

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  1. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    i hate myself for hating myself

    i hate being depressed and making myself depressed

    i hate putting people around me in an awkward situation in trying to help me with this , but yet putting me in an even more awkward situation at the same time

    i hate being overly self conscious and constantly telling myself to relax and take it easy but this only contributing to me thinking more what others think of me

    i hate seeing my personality change from what i remember me to be when i was fine

    i hate seeing my friendships slowly get more distant as i rot in my hole

    i hate running into people who once knew me and never having anything to tell them about where i am in life

    i hate feeling that i have no personality and boring people, myself included because of that

    and i scheduling and rescheduling appointments with month intervals in between where things can get hectic while one suffering 'patiently' waits for their next appointment with the psych who spends a shit hour with them

    i hate being on medication and not noticing shit, but then trying to come off it and then becoming very easily fatigued and irritated

    i hate having a blank head and nothing to say

    i hate all the relationships that have been destroyed while i battled this bull shi.t that i can barely see

    i hate these feelings which make my concentration drop and cause me to fail college courses and partake in hobbies i once enjoyed with little pleasure

    i hate the thought of having to blame someone else for my current disposition just as much as the thought of me having to take full responsibility for where i am today and just as much as my DNA making me this way. i feel trapped as i grow and while my spirit rots.
  2. wasted99

    wasted99 Member

    I feel the same way about myself.
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