fucking losing it

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by MUtE, Aug 22, 2009.

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  1. MUtE

    MUtE Well-Known Member

    I'm losing it, I can't take this shit anymore, I can't even hurt myself cause I don't think I deserve it, I'm tired of being nice and caring, everytime I do I get hurt and everyone just fucks with me. I feel liek going for a walk and hoping people would just jump me or kill me, I'm tired of being me, no one fucking cares, no one talks to me, no one calls or text me, I'm always alone and will be forever, life just turns to shit for me. I fucking hate myself, I hope I die soon or lose all my memories so I don't have shit to care about. I don't deeserve to live, I'm worth nothing...no one wants to help or care for me. I wish I wasn't born in this fucked up world. I'm just gonna go out and get into fight or jumped or murdered, I don't care... anymore.
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey mute..
    sorry ur feeling this way :hug:
    ur not losing it.. ur just going through a really bad time..
    have u tried telling anyone how ur feeling? mabye if ppl understand whats going on they will keep in contact a little more..
    u do deserve 2 live.. u are worthy of a place in this world.. i know its easy 2 think ur not.. im the same.. i think it alot.. but please dont give up hope that things can and will get better.. when we are in the grips of depression everything is so hard.. especially the loneliness.. but ur not alone.. remember u have us..
    take care x
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's going on? I'm here, and I do care. You can PM me if you want to talk.
     
  4. Katii

    Katii Well-Known Member

    Muteee =(
    Uve got me msn =( sorry bout this mornin..
    i'll tlk in abit. xxx
     
  5. catnip43

    catnip43 Active Member

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have always been kind hearted and generous. I've managed to let two ex husband's free load off of me. I was the only breadwinner in the second marriage for THREE years. I haven't been able to work in two years due to bipolar, depression, agoraphobia, severe anxiety, and eating disorders. I'm not even officially divorced from the second husband. I called him up in my time of need and he didn't give me the time of day. He even changed his number to an unlisted. Just recently I managed to develop an online relationship with a guy 2000 miles away. (typical for a lot of bipolars). I listened to him yammer and bitch about how crappy his life is; despite the fact he has like 300,000 in the bank from his construction business. He is bipolar I which is the worst and refuses to take meds. He supposedly sent me a Fedex box containing two money orders for $500, a best buy card with $500, and a broadband card. Well guess what? It never came and he claims Fedex lost it. I asked him for the tracking number and he said he didn't have it. And it gets better, he told me he bought me a 20K car and that it was to arrive yesterday on a flatbed trailer. Nope, no car. He's taken me for a ride and taken advantage of my generous and kind hearted nature. It got so bad that I wasn't getting any sleep which has been wreaking havoc on my body. I acutally DID lose it yesterday and had to call the National Suicide Prevention line. He was texting me back and forth and I lied and told him I was admitting myself to the psych ward. He then texted me and told me he had called VA and I wasn't there. I texted him back and told him they wouldn't release information to a non-family. I finally turned the damn cell phone off. Dang it to hell, I'm sick of people using me as a "doormat". I'll add you to my friends list and feel free to PM me ANYTIME.

    Cat
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    IM glad you can come here and vent and let all that anger and pain out. Guess what we care and know these feelings you are going throught can relate totally. I hope you can find peace just letting all the pain out and know people here care for you okay You are not alone really lots of supportive caring people here for ya.
     
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