Fucking Sobriety

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by WhyMeWhy, Mar 10, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I'm at the end of my rope..... it's only been days but they are days I cannot stand!! Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of every decade of my whole fuckin life I struggle, and do not want to struggle w/ out drugs! FUCK THIS SHIT. I know I'm addicted and may need help but Idk where to start w/ NA so FUCK NA! I need anxiety drugs and all that shit anyway. I'm gonna die this way! I'm highly more likely to commit suicide in a totally sober state--like the one I'm in right now. This fucking sucks. :lost:
     
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    Drugs are tough to handle. But harder is to stop. This isthe moment wenyourbody is cleaning itself and its asking for more drugs to keep the level. What ou need to do its to fight over it, because with time you will get better
     
  3. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Can you not get a prescription? I know drugs are one of the few ways to make living possible. If you're trying to stop them, then I wish you all the best, but I can't really give you any advice unfortunately. I may have a slight drug problem myself.

    Hang on...
     
  4. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I live by Manson's motto:

    Never trust anyone sober

    My brain is goin wakka wakka all the time and I'm thinking powder pills & pot. This is no attempt to quit-merely a stalemate.
    I know eventually I'll do 1 of 3 things:
    1. Learn how to live a "clean" life w/ all the recovery shit I'll be forced to go through and accept sobriety-(I absolutely cannot bear to think of this option)-as a "freind" then will I be futhermore known as a Recovering addict

    2. Find a regular doc who will give me what I need :clap:

    3. :boo: Go insane and kill myself in stupid ways whilst tryin to get high

    But I'm not that far gone yet. I'm not drinking-which I could do-because I hate my government for outlawing pot & refuse to pay for alcohol. Also something I could be doin but am not is huffing anything. It's just that everthing I deal w/ on a daily basis only drives me back to drugs. The people I am forced to humor, the tasks forced upon me, even my own thought process. All this needs to change somehow & badly. Lookin at it from a sober point of view makes me feel real shitty, the lowest of the low. That means I won't last long. It'll just be a matter of time. No one here could even live through this life I'm forced to endure-there are way too many problems w/ it-problems that I feel I have to fix......all by myself. Alone. I'd be very difficult because some of these problems are not my fault at all so why should I have to fix them all? 'Cause no one else will. I can't live like this. Nobody could or should have to. :sad: :mad:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 11, 2008
  5. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i have been on drugs and i know how f*cking life s*cks without them, how you remember the hapy times you´ve spent while drugged, and the first moments of soberty su*k as well. But with time you´ll see that you´ll get better. I won´t lie i miss the drugs but i feel better now without them^^
     
  6. gag

    gag Well-Known Member

    Amen.

    If I ever have to stay completely sober you can kiss my ass goodbye, I'll be taking the quick trip out of here.

    I hate sobriety, haven't done anything illegal in a couple weeks, and I haven't been drunk in 2 days, too long i say.
     
  7. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    Without either a benzo or a painkiller, I am a shell of a person. Can't function, don't care, depressed etc etc

    And it has not goten better.

    I have been off my xanax for three years now and I have only gotten worse.

    Rehab and sober living may be a possibility for some, but for most I believe, we will never be right without something.

    And the Doctors.......... Well, they have pretty much deemed us lost causes unworthy of treatment because we don't fit their idealistic mold. Even if the prescribed drugs have altered our brain chemistry in such a way that we cannot be normal without.

    We are society's castaways.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Im the opposite, i think im way more likely to kill myself when under the influence, hang in there!
     
  9. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am eight days sober and feeling better every day, tho I still have cravings for alcohol sometimes. I miss that numb feeling, not being able to feel too clearly, but I know that alcohol was destroying my life in so many ways. Life is hard to take without something to dull the sensations but I won't go back to that way of life. Too much risk in drinking the way I used to do. I'll take sobriety any day.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.