fuckkkkk

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jess, Jan 6, 2007.

  1. Jess

    Jess Guest

    fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    can one thing please just go right? or at least not go so wrong that it feels so horrible?

    :cry: I'm sick of hurting this badly

    I want to cutt. I haven't for so long now but I want to so bad. and I don't think I am strong enough to keep from it :( I'm so sorry to those I will let down. or have


    I'm so horrible. I know. Absolutely terrible. ahhhg :cry: :wallbash:
     
  2. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Please don't cut. It'll help in the short term, but it's not worth it. Please try and use distraction.
    I know you feel bad. Just remember - it will get better. This doesn't have to beat you.
     
  3. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: Jess ...

    Hang in there hun ... I hope you didn't cut ...

    Take care :hug:

    Joe
     
  4. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Stay strong jess! U r doing so well to stop urself from cutting this long, dont let that go to waste. I hope u start to feel better very soon hun *hug
     
  5. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    Hold on Jess :hug: you can do it :hug:
     
  6. Jess

    Jess Guest

    Thanks for the replies. as always. I didn't expect any :( not after how I've been towards everyone

    I decided I'd rant for a while since I'm up way too damn early :dry: and with no coffee to boot!

    Ok, yes. I didn't cut. as I'm sure whether or not I did is the first thinga nyone who even cares remotely about this thread would want to know. Everyone says to distract yourself. How can you distract 'yourself' when you're the one freaking out enough to hurt yourself? I guess coming on here and chatting can be a good distraction. but frankly I'm so not myself this has become my worst enemy in triggering times. :( *sigh* Well, I tried. I tried to find something that would keep my mindfrom the cutting or at least help. But of course what did I find? Pictures. :cry: pictures of me with both my dad and mom. One photo in particular killed me.. I was nine. 9! that's the last time I can remember being happy with the two of them. That photo! Not to say that the time when I was 9 was happy majority of the time.. but that photo. I can remember specifically being a great day. We were at a wedding.. My mom had a smile on her face as she was looking at my dad. me with my arms around both their necks. :cry:

    I guess I didn't hold on tight enough...
     
  7. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    geez i'm so sorry for you Jess, i wish there was something i could do to help heal your pain.

    i'm glad you managed not to cut.
     
  8. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    Im proud of you for not cutting.. and Im sorry that the memory made you feel that way.. its nice to know that there is happiness inside us.. somewhere.. you just have to remember that..

    Take care hun x