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Fui abusado a los 7 años // I was abused at 7 years old

#1
Spanish/Español:

En la actualidad tengo 22 años y nunca olvidaré ese suceso que sufrí durante mi infancia, ya que hasta el día de hoy lo recuerdo como si hubiese sido ayer. Yo fui abusado por un familiar a los 7 años, en donde no solamente fui abusado una vez sino fueron varias ocasiones, y aunque ese hombre no me haya dicho que me quedará callado, simplemente me quede callado e impactado del porque el me hacía eso, y esto estuvo continuando por un buen tiempo hasta que deje de ir a ver ese familiar. Los años pasaron y yo fui creciendo y claramente pasaron otros sucesos que me hicieron olvidar temporalmente ese abuso sexual que tuve a los 7 años, pero cuento corto... Cuando estuve desarrollando mi depresión en silencio volví a ver a ese hombre y no sé porque demonios cuando él me volvió a abrazar me sentí tan perturbado y de alguna manera me sentí sucio, pero quede en blanco y quería llorar... Pero no podía porque estaba mi mamá y yo no veía a mi mamá hace meses y no quería arruinar ese momento que estaba compartiendo con ella por lo cual preferí guardar silencio.

Después de ese día nunca más vi a ese hombre, pero aún así empecé a recordar los sucesos y empecé a sentirme asqueroso y como que empecé a odiar mi cuerpo (Me costó mucho amar mi cuerpo ya que antes me criticaban por ser gordo en mi casa) y me puse a llorar tanto que quería desaparecer y realmente nunca he tocado el tema con mi papá y mamá ya que siento que me regañarían y yo no quiero eso porque en el día de hoy soy una persona muy inestable con mi depresión, y más que también la gente tiene muy poca empatía con estos asuntos porque con quienes he tocado el tema me hacen preguntas tales como:

¿Por qué nunca hiciste la denuncia?
¿Él es un familiar tuyo?
¿Te afecta eso hasta el día de hoy?

Por lo cual evito tocar el tema, pero quienes saben con profundidad sobre el tema es mi mejor amiga y una ex mía quienes agradezco nunca hayan tocado el tema, y es más... He recibido el apoyo de ellos, lo que sí igualmente he anhelado hablar este tema con mis padres, pero siento que aún no estoy preparado por el estrés y la acumulación de emociones que tengo ya que igual mis padres son muy extremistas y de repente no escuchan y realmente no quiero eso... ¿Y cuándo haría esto? Realmente quiero alzar mi voz cuando sea un hombre independiente ya que cuando pase ese momento voy a aislarme y a refugiarme tal vez en los cigarros y alcohol.



Engilish/Inglés:

I am currently 22 years old and I will never forget that event that I suffered during my childhood, since to this day I remember it as if it had been yesterday. I was abused by a relative at the age of 7, where I was not only abused once but several times, and even though that man did not tell me that he will keep quiet, I just kept quiet and shocked why he did that to me, and this was going on for a long time until I stopped going to see that relative. The years passed and I grew up and clearly other events happened that made me temporarily forget that sexual abuse that I had at 7 years old, but short story ... When I was developing my depression in silence, I saw that man again and I don't know why heck when he hugged me again I felt so disturbed and somehow I felt dirty, but I went blank and wanted to cry ... But I couldn't because my mom was there and I hadn't seen my mom for months and I didn't want to ruin that moment I was sharing with her for which I preferred to keep quiet.



After that day I never saw that man again, but even so I began to remember the events and I started to feel disgusting and I kind of started to hate my body (I had a hard time loving my body since before I was criticized for being fat at home ) and I started crying so much that I wanted to disappear and I have never really touched the subject with my dad and mom since I feel like they would scold me and I don't want that because today I am a very unstable person with my depression, and more that people also have very little empathy with these issues because with whom I have touched the subject they ask me questions such as:

Why did you never report it?

Is he a relative of yours?

Does that affect you to this day?



For this reason I avoid touching the subject, but those who know in depth about the subject are my best friend and an ex of mine who I am grateful for have never touched on the subject, and what's more ... I have received their support, which I have also I have longed to talk about this with my parents, but I feel that I am not prepared yet because of the stress and the accumulation of emotions that I have since my parents are very extreme and suddenly they do not listen and I really do not want that ... And when would I do this? I really want to raise my voice when I am an independent man because when that moment passes I will isolate myself and perhaps take refuge in cigarettes and alcohol.
 

Sad Elf

Well-Known Member
#2
Hello,

Welcome to the forum.

There are lots of reasons people don't report abuse. It is a very difficult thing to deal with and it effects people in so many ways. It doesn't matter how long ago it was, my abuse happened 30 years ago, but I am still understanding it's effect on me.

Have you thought of seeing a counsellor ? This may help you gain your voice and if you choose to speak to your family.

Take care
Elf
 

JDot

1 Peter 5:7
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
Hey @Charly Slovak I'm sorry this happened to you. A lot of people can be not understanding when discussing sexual abuse, even people who mean well. Just know that you're not alone. Now that you've joined SF, you'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. And there will always be people here to listen. My sister was sexually abused as a child, and it haunted her her whole life. I understand this is something that stays with you. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. We're here for you, and we're glad to have you here.
 
#4
Hello,

Welcome to the forum.

There are lots of reasons people don't report abuse. It is a very difficult thing to deal with and it effects people in so many ways. It doesn't matter how long ago it was, my abuse happened 30 years ago, but I am still understanding it's effect on me.

Have you thought of seeing a counsellor ? This may help you gain your voice and if you choose to speak to your family.

Take care
Elf
Hi. I hope you are doing well today. I beg your pardon if my English is terrible as it is not my strong suit.

I have wanted to go with a professional, however I do not feel prepared and I want to go when I am an independent man since when that moment passes I know that I will not have to give explanations to my parents since they know that they are going to ask me and I do not want questions or words, but time for myself and also I don't have the courage to do this.

Regards.

Charly.-
 
#5
Hey @Charly Slovak I'm sorry this happened to you. A lot of people can be not understanding when discussing sexual abuse, even people who mean well. Just know that you're not alone. Now that you've joined SF, you'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. And there will always be people here to listen. My sister was sexually abused as a child, and it haunted her her whole life. I understand this is something that stays with you. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. We're here for you, and we're glad to have you here.
I really appreciate your disposition, also forgive me if my English is lousy since it is not my strength and more than I use the translator to vent so don't be surprised if you see that I speak in Spanish and English (through the translator)
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#6
Hello and welcome to the forum, sad to hear your story, I faced abuse when a child also so know how that feels and never reported mine to anybody. Don't worry about your English, it is just fine and hopefully you will continue to join in here.
 
#7
Hello and welcome to the forum, sad to hear your story, I faced abuse when a child also so know how that feels and never reported mine to anybody. Don't worry about your English, it is just fine and hopefully you will continue to join in here.
I recently spoke with a girl who was also abused and the truth is that she also listens to me and encourages me that one day I can get out of that vicious cycle of fear.

The truth is that I have been close to many people who have been abused and I have felt supported, it just makes me sad that those people were able to say it out loud and I did not because it is an event that no one in my family knows about.
 

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