This is going to be more of a rant than asking for help, but boy am I pissed off!!!!!!!! I swear it's a good job that I'm not completely off my rocker. Bloody incompetent mental health staff!!!!!!!!!!!! Cut a long story short about a month ago I had a bad time with suicidal thoughts etc, attempted and failed but didn't tell anyone. Kept a mood diary like my CPN asked me too. My mood lifted after my attempt. It was a kinda planned attempt and kinda impulsive at the same time. I had researched methods and thought it would work and kept it in my mind for future reference, but the day it happened I just decided enough was enough and did it. I have been ok since then, well not suicidal. I have switched moods with a click of a finger though. One minute I'm ok, then I'm morbid and flat, then I'm ok, then I'm restless etc if that makes sense. I have also been having mild hallucinations I think. Seeing shadows, seeing weird things then when I go to look, nothing. Anyway 2 weeks ago my CPN was supposed to see me but never showed up and I was going to tell him all these sorts of things. I didn't have a number for him so I couldn't contact him and I looked up the number on the et but found nothing. I convinced myself I'd got the day wrong, then the week wrong. When he didn't turn up last week I just knew he had either forgotten or just not bothered turning up and that I was right in the first place. So i have been faffing around. I decided to make an appointment to see my GP, who I then found out had left so I booked in to see another. Cut a long story short my sleeping patterns have gona kaput again. Anyway. Today I go to see the GP. I tell her everything. The attempt, the hallucination, the moods and I was straight with her that I stopped the fluoxetine because of the nightmares it gave me. Completely honest. I don't know how I came across. I think my train of thought was a bit hard to follow at times but I gotmy point across. I was shaking throughout the appointment. She seemed very concerned. I didn't know what to make of her though. The last GP was so caring and understanding and friendly. Althought this one took in completely what I said, she didn't smile once and seemed a bit abrupt, but I suppose its the listening that counts. Anyway. She then says so you have been on the Sertraline for about a month now is that correct? I was like what? I am not taking Sertraline. I said it had been mentioned to try it for my anxiety issues but I had not actually been prescribed anything. She said oh a prescription was issued on 20th July that *** was supposed to bring to you. I said well I didn't get it. She then went on to say that in the entry about the Sertraline being prescribed it said something like fits specification for post traumatic stress disorder and asked what had been done? I said I had no frigging idea about PTSD as it had never been discussed. Only self harm and anxiety had been discussed. She said oh, well I need to get in contact with him to see what we do here whether he wants to refer you back to counselling service or come out and see you. I told her I had already been rejected for the counselling service because of the self harm and overdoses and that they wouldnt accept it until I was completely SH free. She said she was gonna ring him ASAP to see what the plan will be. She made it sound like she wanted to do a MHA assessment or something. Like it was serious. I don't think it's been that bad. Or am I just being completely naive? She said she was gonna get in contact with me later today. I have also got to go back later this afternoon for a flipping blood test to check my liver again. It's going to be lovely for them to try take blood from me with all the pin pricks on my veins. I left the appointment feeling so sick. With rage, anxiety, fear, everything. This week is bad enough being completely alone (although I have a little visitor coming to see me tomorrow ). I trusted this CPN. I liked him and I could talk to him. But you know. Talking is a two way thing. He's not told me anything about plans or anything or any of this PTSD bullshit, never brought my script. Nothing. So now I quite frankly don't care. I don't want him to come see me. You know working in the general sector of the NHS I never believed it when people said mental health in the NHS was crap. After experience of it, I now believe them. I have calmed down a bit now. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense. I am just in disbelief with feelings of anxiety and rage all mixed together. Dreading the phone call. I might just ignore it.