Fun at Target

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Anneinside, Sep 26, 2011.

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  1. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    This had me laughing so hard I choked:

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target .

    Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out . Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse .

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

    Dear Mrs . Harris,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store .. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store . Our complaints against your husband as per our cameras:

    1 . June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking ..

    2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
    intervals .

    3 . July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom .

    4 . July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares . Get on it right away' .. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money .

    5 . August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway .

    6 . August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area .

    7 . August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged .
    8 . August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called .....

    9 . . September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose .

    10 . September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were ..

    11 . October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme ..

    12 . October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels .

    13 . October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14 . October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least:
    15 . October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here . ' One of the clerks passed out ..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    lol now that funny that for the laugh hun hugs
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Ahahahahaha!!!!! :laugh: I think my favorite was the one about the tomato juice! No wait! It was the one about the fitting room! I can't believe she passed out haha
  4. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    The M&Ms one made me laugh hardest. Partially because I know someone that tried to put a Snickers bar on layaway just to see if it would work. lol

    ETA: Oh yeah, it didn't. :tongue:
  5. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :laugh: did it?
  6. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    lol No. Though, it would be awesome if it had. :tongue:
  7. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I really want to true to do this :p soooo bad haha!
  8. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    lol If you do, let us know how it goes. ;)

    I don't think I'd try any of the other ones here. Though, the alarm clock one sounds quite tempting. I can imagine it would be very headache inducing. haha
  9. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Haha I will let you know ;)

    And omg! the tomato juice one too! I have to! mwahaha
  10. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    omg I'm hitting my desk laughing like crazy!!!!! You're so crazy! I don't know you but I love you!

    :lol!: :hysterical:
  11. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    ^ you should try some too. :p
  12. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    I find this very very very funny! xD especially because when I was in Ohio, some of my friends got kicked out of target for doing some of those things. We did the condom one, mission impossible one, clothes rack one, we played hide and seek and tag, and turned all the radios on to a different station to annoy people. xD it was so epic.
  13. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Hah. My Social Anxiety wouldn't allow it. ^^'
  14. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    OMG, I know this has nothing to do with this thread, but I absolutely love you avi. <3
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