So I came out for my college's homecoming. I came back with one of the people I knew. He is my friend, however, he is my only connection to this place. Had I come alone, I would not have done anything but waste my money. Being here, and all the stuff I have been doing in my life. You know my goals about getting good at socializing, and flirting. I come here and see all the wasted time. All it does is remind me of how much I wasted. Then it brings up the suicidal feelings and my overall desire to give up. I spent so much time trying to get over these feelings. But coming here and being the tag along, blows all that up. I am the same lower now that I was back then. I cannot even move in social situations. Even when drunk I freeze up and hide in corners. I hope that I can resist the urge to sleep in my garage when I am finally home.