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Funny how going to a psychiatrist makes me feel suicidal.

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prophetbirds

Well-Known Member
#1
He was asking me about cutting, about all of the things I do to myself and others and then he said something, I can't remember what, about a waste of time. I'm a waste of time. I want to just quit and make it all go away, I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I don't want to die, it's just that I can't go on living.

I have no friends except for one person, one person who I recently fucked up with. It's my fault and maybe if I weren't such a waste of space things would be different. School is a torture every day, and home is the same, if not worse.
I always have to be okay, have to keep telling myself "I'm okay, I'm okay" because if I don't then my parents will know, and if they know then I'll never be able to do it.

I wish it would just lift off of me, like a weight being lifted from my shoulders.
But it wont.
So I think I'm going to kill myself.
 
#2
He was asking me about cutting, about all of the things I do to myself and others and then he said something, I can't remember what, about a waste of time. I'm a waste of time. I want to just quit and make it all go away, I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I don't want to die, it's just that I can't go on living.

I have no friends except for one person, one person who I recently fucked up with. It's my fault and maybe if I weren't such a waste of space things would be different. School is a torture every day, and home is the same, if not worse.
I always have to be okay, have to keep telling myself "I'm okay, I'm okay" because if I don't then my parents will know, and if they know then I'll never be able to do it.

I wish it would just lift off of me, like a weight being lifted from my shoulders.
But it wont.
So I think I'm going to kill myself.
Your psychiatrist who say you are a waste of time is plain ignorant and insensitive and shouldn't be a psychiatrist.. His duty is to help you and not making you feel worse.. Your psychiatrist is behaving like a jackass and i think you should switch to another psychiatrist.. You are not a waste of time and i enjoy listening to you and making sure you feel better after talking to me.. Please don't end your life after going to a psychiatrist who behaved like a jackass and should be fired.. Call the crisis line and ask them for referrals to good and caring psychiatrist in your area.. Take care and :hug:
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#3
I cannot tell you what your therapist said, of course, but please ask him to clarify it...you are not a waste...and you deserve good and compassioate care...but one thing to remember, when we are the patient/client we are hard of listening, because all the shameful stuff is about us...I have been there many times...please keep at it and feel proud that you are trying to do very difficult work...J
 
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