funny things that Kids Say

[poisonedresistance]

had a look and could see a thread like it and thought it would be fun.
Kids say the darnedest things, I know mine have and wanted to share a few of them with you,, hope you want to share too!

driving along one day my son then 3 asked this question,
Mummy, who puts the batteries in the sun?

Having a bath on evening and my then 4 yr old daughter says
You left the window open mummy and now the clouds have come in

Daughter aged 10
if god created us, who created god! age old but they do this stuff all on their own:tongue:

My son aged 8

Him-mum, at school they say birds mate in their nest to make baby birds
me- not all actually, some mate in the sky whilst in flight
him-wow so the babies are born in mid air!
me- Birds lay eggs though so think about it
him- i didnt think eggs could fly

took a few seconds for it to dawn on him but he got there!!:rooster:

 

[Aquarius123]

Ah yes, from the mouth of babes...

Delightful! Thank you for sharing your children's wisdom with us here. I hope that more will follow.

The song from Monty Python is also very much to my liking.
With love - Aquarius

:hug:
​

 

[total eclipse]

I love the way a child thinks hugs to you

 

[Sadeyes]

A new client came to my office for an evaluation a year ago. He only spoke one meaningful word, "money". And what did his father do for a living? He was an accountant...what a surprise!

 

[black orchid]

Out shopping with my friends daughter and waiting for the bus home she kept asking if we could go on the bunk-bus. Took a while for me to realise she meant a double-decker lol.

Same child, who was about 3, asked to call her dad, was told not at the minute, she wandered off drew a picture on the wall showed her mum then said now can I call daddy and tell him I've been a bad girl lol. That threat backfired!!!

 

[Speedy]

I can't think of anything to post in this thread at the moment.. mind is blank.. but I would like to take this opportunity to say that I'm delighted to be reading all the replies to this thread. :hug: Kudos to all the participating posters!

 

[Lost]

I remember people getting a good laugh one Sunday morning when I asked my mum at church if Jesus was buried in the back garden there. :dunno:

 

[lostbutnotfound]

When I was a nursery nurse at a childcare day center, I remember a 3 year old sat on my lap giving me a cuddle. I think I said something along the lines of 'Oh this is a nice cuddle, honey', and she put her hands on either side of my face with a big smile and side 'Ooooh Donna, you make my heart happy' .. so cute!

Another child at the nursery, just coming up to his 4th birthday, came in and gave me a cuddle, and I said something along the lines of 'Your hair smells yummy.. like strawberries! Does mommy buy you nice shampoo?' and he looked at me for a moment, and said 'Well...... no. I go on a train. I go on a train up to Scotland' (which would be a 10 hour journey) 'and.. I wash my hair in a bath full of strawberries every morning and then I come back home.' So I said something like 'You go up to Scotland? Every morning? Wow, how do you get back in time to come to nursery?' And I could see him wracking his brains trying to come up with a good answer, and he said 'Well, Donna clearly you don't know how fast the trains are nowadays'. He was known for telling fibs, but that particular one made me smile.

When I was a nanny, I looked after 3 children, a 5year old, 3 year old and a baby. One night was the annual fireworks display, and the next day when I went to work I asked the 2 older boys about them. The 5 year old said they were good, and the 3 year old just shrugged his shoulders and looked worried. I said to him 'Is everything okay sweetheart?' and he looked me straight in the eyes and said 'Donna.. the fireworks were okay. But.. they made big bangs. But.. it's okay, they weren't real, cos no one died'. Bless him, I spent a long time that day explaining to him that firework bangs are not gunshot bangs lol.

 

[lostbutnotfound]

Oh, another one from when I was nannying those children. One day I picked the 5 year old up from school, and we were all walking back to their house, and the 5 year old kept asking me loads of questions, as they do. One of the questions was about how much money I had, so I replied 'not a lot, sweetie'. He quietened down for a minute, and then said 'Donna! I know what you can do!'. I didn't know what he was referring to, so said 'Do about what hon?' and he replied 'Not having a lot of money!' So I asked him what his idea was and he said 'Get a money spider!! That's where money comes from!'. He looked so excited and pleased with himself I didn't have the heart to explain to him right then that money actually didn't come from money spiders, despite their name. Lol, bless.

 

[Sadeyes]

A child I work with, sat on my lap and asked if he could stay there all day...I told him that I have to see other boys and girls, he said, "so tell them you're not home!"

 

[me myself and i]

" Daddy, now that you are old, i'm going to make you a grandad as quick as i can"
Eight year old daughter, like thanks and like no way.

 

[Aquarius123]

From The Mouths of Babes

From The Mouths Of Babes​

In case you are now wondering what that might mean, read on to discover what joy children can unintentionally bring. The quotes that now follow are original ones; they are filled with the innocence of childhood, which as adults we have long left behind.

JACK, age 3, sat watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he ventured forth: ‘Mum, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

STEVEN, age 3, hugging and kissing his mother goodnight: ‘I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.’

BRITTANY, age 4, had earache and needed a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mother explained it was a childproof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’

Susan, age 4, was drinking juice when she got hiccups. ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said: ‘It makes my teeth cough.’

Dennis. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scales and wanted to know: ‘How much do I cost?’

Marc, age 4, was engrossed in a young couple hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: ‘Why is he whispering into her mouth?’

CLINTON, age 5, was in his bedroom looking worried. When his mother asked what was troubling him, he replied: ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?’

JAMES, age 4, was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: ‘What happened to the flea?’

TAMMY, age 4, was with her mother when they met an elderly rather wrinkled woman her mother knew. Tammy looked at the lady for a while and then asked: ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’

One Sunday morning my daughter and I went to church and took part in a service I shall never forget. Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust.’ He would have continued but at that moment my very intently listening daughter leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, ‘Mummy, what is butt dust?

Every day without a good laugh – or at least a chuckle – is a wasted one.

Created by Anon.
Edited by Aquarius

:hug:​

 

[poisonedresistance]

Ow wow,, those response's are awsome! they have had me in a fit of giggles for the last half an hour!! I hope we get tonnes more!!
to continue found a few, not from my kids but they definitely made me smile!!

I have a black thumb when it comes to flowers but I had managed to succeed in having one lone flower in our backyard. While I was observing it , my little toddler was with me. So I said, "Now, Patti, don't pick that flower or it won't grow big". I went back inside and soon Patti came in with my flower! When I ask her why she picked my flower she replied, "But Mommie, it was not growing it was just standing there".

My sister shared something her little toddler said while flying for the first time. Her daughter was looking out the window and ask, "Mommie, why are we flying upside down?" (they were flying above a layer of clouds at the time.)

Another story I heard years ago..It seems the father had buried a pet cat in the backyard. He told his young child that this way it could go to Heaven and be with Jesus. It seems the child got curious one day and dug it up.. then came running into the house yelling, "DADDIE! DADDIE! Our cat couldn't go to Heaven!"

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with."
Kirsten, age 10

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them."
Anita, age 9

Keep em coming guys! they are fab!

 

[Sais]

When R was about 3ish, he wanted more stickers, so he asked “I want more.”. The check out lady, told him; “You will get more stickers, if you tell me the magic word.” (Obviously, she meant word “please”.) But R told her within seconds; “Abra ka Dabra!!!.”

(found on some website)
I love this thread

 

[Sadeyes]

I was working with a 10 yr old boy who I see in a group with two other children. When I reminded him to pay attention to the child who was speaking, he said to me, "why Dr J? He doesn't say anything anyway!"

I was making flowers with a 7 year old girl, and when she put the crape paper in her mouth, I said to her, "Sally, is that food?" She responded, "it tastes like mommy's lunch!"

A very cranky 5 year old child, came into my office, sat in the small blue chair and said, "I want to go home", to which I replied, "so do I" and he said, "no, you don't have nap time". G-d knows I wish I did that day!

It was obvious that Joey's parents had had a fight the night before our session. When I asked him what he was doing over the weekend, he said, "I am going away", I then asked him where he was going, he said to me" I don't know, because mommy said daddy was going to Hell".

 

[Sais]

some other I found: )

"When my daughter was about 1 1/2 we used to let her use her "kiddie" fork to eat with, since they are kid sized, and are not sharp, she loved eating like mom and dad and not using her fingers. Anyway we went to a family restaurant one friday night, and the fork was regular sized, and a bit sharp so I gave her a spoon. She said she wanted the fork and I said no its to sharp. Well this went back and forth about 3 times when my daughter belted out at the top of her lungs, I WANT FUUUUUCK. The place went silent and everyone looked at us, I was soooo frigin embarrassed.
Never went back to that place!"

"I have two cousins Afonso is six and Tomás is four here are some of their best moments:

My aunt says:
"Afonso I do not want you so near the tv set!"
And he answers:
"Buuut mum...I am trying to go inside it!"

My aunt was pulling an all nighters to meet a deadline and Afonso was having trouble sleeping...
So when he went near her, she played a little bit with him cuddled him a bit and said:
"Afonso, got to bed, mummy is working"
"But mum it is very late. Why do you have to work so late?"
"Just because. Got to bed sweetie. Mummy has a work to finish"
"mum...just call the old lady and tell her that you need to sleep..."
(my aunt just stares at him)
"Who is the old lady, Afonso?"
"Your teacher...she must be really old by now" he replies knowingly

In the morning...my aunt looked really tired
" So..mum...you haven't gone to bed?"
"No son..."
"You should have called the old lady...like I told you to!"

When my great grandfather died...we were all pretty sad and my cousin Tomás asked me:
"mariana why did grandfater die?"
"He was very sick..."
"And where did he go?"
I didn't really know what to say...so I just gave the conventional answer.
"He went to heaven (heaven and sky in my language are the same word)"
"Does that mean that he is now a star?"
"I don't know...maybe...but he is in a better place now"
So at that time a shooting star passed and he said:
"look there goes grandaddy"
I was a really tender moment

So my cousin Tomás hates to be sitting at the table eating.
So he just shakes his head from one side to another running away from the spoon.
Nothing unusual except that he has an explanation for this behavior:
"I can't be still mum. I am a bell!"

So I went to a cofee shop with afonso to buy him a lolly pop:
And the lady said:
"What a beautiful boy...How old are you?"
"Six!"
"And when did you make six?"
"After I made five!"

 

[poisonedresistance]

you got to love them! kids are just brill!

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many sweetie. Wow, that’s five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
Bobby–Age 5

from a friend
My daughter was staring at an attractive business woman walking towards us, head swivelling as she passed. My girl whispered to me "Mum, why does that woman have white arms and face and black legs??" Her face was incredulous. Of course, the woman was wearing sheer black stockings!
Diana Age-3

 

[Sais]

Little Jacob had a hard time getting use to a new baby in the house. Coming out of his bedroom talking rather loud and being told to be quiet, the baby is asleep, he very seriously said, "Well ya'll better be quiet, cause my foot`s asleep." Submitted by his Grandma

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

 

[BornFree]

My 6yr old daughter who has just had her birthday a couple of months ago asked me "Mum when is my birthday next year?" So I told her the date to which she gets all excited and says "Oh WOW thats the same date as this year!" :laugh:

 

[poisonedresistance]

When I had had Lauren my eldest kyle was 3 at the time. I bought her home and she was a bit of a grumbly baby.
about two weeks later Lauren had little sleep and had been crying all morning, Kyle came into the front room, put a bottle in her mouth and said to me
"arhh mum Shes noisy, can we take her back and swop her"
He loves her now though!

When Kyle was just learning to talk he couldnt quiet say Mama, instead it came out like MINGAR. to this day she is known as Mama mingi by all 6 of her grand kids! my three an my sisters 3

When james was 1 my mum bought a narrow boat to live on so i thought it wise to get a swimmingpool to teach them how to swim. James was 18 months when he was swimming unaided but in a wierd way. Kyle then 6 piped up that James looked like a Toad
to this Day he is known as the toad!!

For james/Toads 6th birthday he said he wanted a real toad, so we got him one for his room. We asked what he wanted to call it, he said James! so james the toad had a toad called james,, Sigmund froyd that one!!



these are ace, proper make me smile when i read through them!! makes me remember all the daft stuff my lot have done and said!