Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Seerbrum, Feb 12, 2009.

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  1. Seerbrum

    Seerbrum Well-Known Member

    I don't want to buy another bottle of vodka.

    It's around 4:30 pm, and since 1 O'Clock I thought about it.

    I've really tried to cut my drinking but I keep failing, I get all a lone and isolated and I can't resist.

    I'm so miserable when I'm not drunk, but sometimes I get too drunk and I'm still in a pretty shit mood. Wish I had weed right now, but I can't afford it these days.

    It's like I always need a buzz just to deal with life, if isn't coffee in the morning, its gotta be alcohol. I just tired of wasting my money on it, in the end, it's just chemical happiness, its not real, and fades suprisingly quick. and I'm only happy for that moment of drunkness, but I'm still very much a lone, still very much unable to cope most of the time. I feel weak because of it, and that only compounds things.

    I don't want to give it up completely, it's the only god damn thing I have most days, but instead of making me social and happy like it use too. I just get real sick sometimes and angry, I drink mostly a lone these days, but who want's to hang out with a drunk in his living room anyways?

    Argh I wish I had the strength to fight this.
  2. Seerbrum

    Seerbrum Well-Known Member

    Well I'm drunk at lest I managed to 5 o'clock, my nightmares still plague me. I wanna sleep I feel so sick, but I can't anymore because I'm too scared to sleep.

    If any of you have any ability to quit while you're ahead, I suggest you do it. I can't stop right now, and it's torture, count your blessings my friends, because one day you may end up like me. And I would wish this on no one.

    I'm still trying tomorrow, I'm still hanging on in spite of everything. I hope that counts for something,
  3. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Hi Seerbrum,

    The only thing about drinking when things are at a lowest point in our lives, is that the alcohol is a depressant as well. It can make things worse in the short of things. However saying this, I know too well that things in life can reach the point to where we will do about anything we can to feel better. I hope you can find ways to cope! If you need to talk , we are here.
  4. possiblities

    possiblities Member

    well the way ive always done it is to somehow force myself to quit, takes some guts though

    becase for me quitting weed was a painful experience, because it became a mental crutch and my only way to cope with life and the only thing that made me stop was changing my phone number and getting a new phone so i couldnt possibly call anyone to get any!

    i know that alcohol is different and if your the type of drinker i think you might be; then you need to be prepared to detox for a day or two because its not easy! let someone help you.

    not saying sobriety clears all your problems (far from it) but when it becomes a problem then you know..
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2009
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Except the difference between withdrawing from pot and withdrawing from alcohol is that alcohol withdrawal is potentially fatal :p. Seerbrum, I empathize with you.


    It can be hard. Without my morning gin and tonic I've taken to drinking the mouthwash :eek:hmy:! Of course, alcohol is a depressant and it does make you feel more blue. Have you thought about going to an AA meeting?

    PM if you need somebody to empathize with.


    Ps. You can do it!
  6. SadPandaBear

    SadPandaBear Well-Known Member

    I have issues with alcohol lately. I've managed to go a week.

    Im very happy with my progress.. it use to be everynight, and, every morning I would beat myself up about it for being so stupid, acting like such a retard, saying such horrible things.....

    I know its not easy. I feel for you, just try and take it one day at a time.

    I know the day is coming where I must quit it completely. Just like I did pot many years ago
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