Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Flaxney, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. Flaxney

    Flaxney Well-Known Member

    Whenever I try to engage people in conversation I am only reminded of how contemptible and inept I am. I don't really know why I continue to torture myself when I know that the outcome will always be the same.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi Flaxney, are these conversation in real life? Is it the small talk that you don't like?
    What about finding people with similar interests, that way you already have something in common to talk about.
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am not sure what the issue is that you makes you feel like that but i wonder how much of itis th eway you feel compared to what they think or feel? We are often far harder on ourselves than others are on us in judging things....
  4. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey Flaxney, did something happen to make you write this? I hope you are okay. Do you know why you are struggling with conversations? Anxiety, fear, panic, something else? Come back and talk some more if you can.
  5. Flaxney

    Flaxney Well-Known Member

    Thank you to everyone who has replied to my thread. I think most of my issues with people stem from two things, the fact that I am not very intelligent, and the fact that I am quite dull due to aforementioned lack of intellect. Generally the people that I try to converse with lose interest, and simply ignore me. Or they give me the cold shoulder, their intent is quite clear. It's hard to accept that fact that I am almost thirty years old and just as incapable of exercising agency over my relationships with people as when I was a child. I've tried everything that I can think of to improve my chances of finding companionship but so far they have yielded nothing. It's quite draining, constantly failing.
  6. Adam

    Adam SF Supporter

    I think you are pretty hard on yourself. You certainly don't strike me as unintelligent. Maybe just overly critical of yourself. You have had some rough experiences that will also sour your view. But remember you did it once, so you can do it again, you have proven that already and that is what makes you stronger and more capable than you maybe think.
    2 people like this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Flaxney, what I feel is very similar to what you are feeling. I feel unintelligent and socially awkward, it can be so hard at times. It's really draining and makes me embarrassed. People get bored of me pretty quickly, just know you are not alone, I am a lot better than I used to be thanks to therapy so I would suggest therapy to start with. It doesn't matter what age you are, it only matters if you are ready to change and to keep trying! Hugs to you, I think you are a lovely person. Very pleasant and kind!