Fuuuuck....I don't know if you can swear in forums but I just have. Sorry if you cant

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Feb 18, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    ...Usually I hate swearing. But that is by the by.

    I really don't know if I should be going to these counselling sessions anymore. They make me feel worse. They make me deal with emotions I don't want to deal with. I was warned things could get worse before they get better.

    This is all probably going to come out as a blob as I admit I am a tad (ok very) drunk.

    So, bloody hell where do I start...ummmm...

    So doing placement. Today I have a visit. I can see my old house where I lived with Gom. I have been in the same area a lot though this placement but this close was just a little bit too close. I have even put a client off accommodation at number 62 a house that would be ideal for her but there is no way I can keep her as I client when I lived at 61! So on this vist I was getting paranoid. What if I am seen in the area. I am just goin to look like crazy stalking ex. I don't want that. I Son't know what to do.

    I am feeling like shit. I'm gonna let again. There is no avoiding it. I dont know how to deal with urges whrn i've been drinking.

    I am not making much snese am I am I am I am I?

    Think the best thing is now try get some sleeep and moan blog tomorrow??????????
     
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Re: Fuuuuck....I don't know if you can swear in forums but I just have. Sorry if you

    You've just answered your own question - you're bright enough to know that you have to deal with these emotions to move on, you knew going in you would have moments where you felt awful - but you can and will be strong enough to push through it.

    Sending a huge hug, you deserve better.

    I'm just a PM away if you need a listener,
    Chris
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: Fuuuuck....I don't know if you can swear in forums but I just have. Sorry if you

    Try and stick with the counselling if u can, it really does get better but at the start the confronting of emotions can be very difficult.
    Well worth the effort tho.

    Drink heightens all moods, so if feeling low, not the best course of action.
    Sleep it off and see what tomorrow brings.
     
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Re: Fuuuuck....I don't know if you can swear in forums but I just have. Sorry if you

    I know that I should avoid alcohol when I feel particulary bad. But I didn't self harm last night which is good. I think I was just far too tired and collapsed in to bed anyway. I am not liking these early mornings. I am not used to having to get out of bed in the morning. Grrrr!

    I think my feelings last night were a combination of a full on week, my own demons, and the alcohol combined. Maybe just save drinking for Saturday nights then at least I have Friday to unwind and chill out on Saturday.

    I don't drink that much anyway. At one time I did have a problem but I drink well under the units allowed for women each week. It's all in one go usually (i.e a bottle of wine) but it's no longer an issue that it has been in the past.

    x
     
  5. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Re: Fuuuuck....I don't know if you can swear in forums but I just have. Sorry if you

    I'm glad you managed to get through the night and not self harm. That's some achievement. :hug: If you need an ear, my PM box is open.x
     
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