G.A.D,S.A.D, Panic Disorder, and Depression - Need Support

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Urban, Jun 6, 2014.

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  1. Urban

    Urban New Member

    Hey, Everyone.

    Well, to be honest with you all never in my life did I think I'd end up here. About 7 months ago I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. I was starting to develop problems with my stomach due to me being constantly anxious. The doctors decided to put me on Anti-Depressants. I've never been depressed in my life. I have always been the person saying to themselves, "Why would anybody kill themselves". I've always wanted to live a long beautiful life and have been excited for the future. The first Anti-Depressant I tried was Celexa. It was awful, It had my mind everywhere! I didn't even feel like I was human. About 5 days in I had to quit! It was bringing very bad thoughts into my mind that I was not particularly fond with. The Doctor then wanted me to try the Anti-Depressant 'Effexor". This seemed to work for about 6-7 weeks. I was very uplifted and always had energy. Then, A big wave of depression and laziness hit out of no where. I couldn't get myself out of the slump and the stomach problems were still continuing. SOO, I decided to get off of this Anti-Depressant without telling anyone. I was fine! I went cold turkey for about a week with no problems at all. My Psychologists recommended that I try the anti-depressant 'Zoloft'. So, I hopped on it thinking that this one would finally work and I'd no longer be anxious or have stomach issues. Well, the stomach issues were getting a little less painful, but my mind just wasn't right. The laziness started to kick in big time! I found myself always being bored and never wanting to do anything with friends. I was getting pretty depressed and didn't really know what else to do. I started smoking (abusing) weed for about a month. I was stoned all day every day for a month.

    That leads me to today. I decided to quit the Zoloft about 4 days ago. I was feeling too depressed on it and needed to get away. I know it's not smart going Cold Turkey off of Anti-Depressants. I decided I was going to clean up my act, so I threw out all of the lighters, bongs, and tools for weed. Today is the day that I'm going to start getting better (At least this is what I keep telling myself). I'd much rather go back to the way I was living with some Social Anxiety problems then being constantly depressed. Today I will start my work out regimen and prepare my body and mind for college. I can't be hours away from home with the depression that I was facing here. I've heard that reading the effects of what Anti-Depressants can do to you if you quit cold turkey can actually give you the effects just from more or less a Placebo effect. BUT I have been more depressed than usual. I am getting some suicidal thoughts. They seem to be always on my mind and I just can't escape it. I really don't want to go back and start taking Anti-Depressants again or even just start taking a lower dose to ween myself off. I want to be sober, So I know the stuff is out of my system. I want to clean up! I don't want these thoughts in my head, and I realize now that it's the medication that's doing it to me. I need support to make it past this time that I'm going through. I didn't really know where else to go. I couldn't really tell my parents or friends the situation that I'm going through without a total freak out or judgement.

    Today is the day that I start getting back my 6 pack abs and 300lb bench press. I want to do this. I will do this.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Urban good you are talking here and trying to get back on a more healthy track working out Have you tried therapy for your anxiety just therapy can help and medication may not be necessary if you have the right therapist helping you. Let your doc know though ok your plans on getting off the meds so he can monitor those suicidal ideation
    He should not judge you but support you ok. I do only therapy and it helps it does not take away the depression but it helps me cope with it

    Best of luck to you try to keep open conversion ok with your doc
     
  3. Urban

    Urban New Member

    I have been to months of Psyco Therapy, it just seemed to basically help for that day. Like it's nice talking to someone and having someone put the attention towards your needs. It just hasn't helped be further than that. The thing is my Doctor has an agreement with my parents, so if I tell him something he can tell my parents. I've always been one for doing things on my own. Although, I just know this I shouldn't do on my own, due to the need of support. I can definitely see how it helps to have support and people there for you in times like this. I'm going to hang out with friends tonight and see if I can get my mind of things. I will be completely sober this includes Alcohol, Anxiety Medication, and any drugs.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I see your efforts to stay clean and to be active keep your mind on other things i understand all that i do just know if it get too hard you reach out ok don't let the depression get so deep you cannot find a light sound like you are doing everything you can do right now so that is good
     
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