Gah, worthless is....(language)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~PinkElephants~, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Mother fucker, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. God fuckin' damnit. fuckin'
    all the happiness i've felt is gone. it doesn't matter now, nothing fuckin' seems
    to matter because eventually it all fades. It all gets ripped away, it all gets
    torn from me. Why is it that i let people get to me? why is it that i let people
    interfere with my true happiness. why do i let them make me feel the only
    solution is to cut or punch something or just drive ad never come back?
    all in all i feel like i'm fuckin' walking in circles everyday. Like im just reliving shit
    when all i want is it to go away. I'm constantly reminded that all im worth is
    a good fuck and a thank youl It's all I'm worth. i'm a whore, i know this.
    no one has to remind me of that anymore. no need to make me aware b/c
    Kell is already aware of what she is...she's aware of her worth, aware of everything that people tell me. I am nothing, i am trash, i am useless, i am a
    retchid mistake that just needs to resolve the pain somehow.

    I can't believe that i let myself get this the point of hyperventilation
    When have i ever let people effect me this much? I know its over something
    absolutely trivial but for some reason everything has been sparking me, it's
    never ending lately...never ending that everything seems to trigger me. I
    think i need ot just smash my head up against a wall..tell myself to get over
    the past...get over everything, get over shit that i shouldn't dwell on. i
    obviously need to practice what i preach about stop living in the past but
    damnit I can't! i can't move on from shit that has happened to me for years.
    i can't move on b/c 11 years of shit has been bottle up inside of me and i
    eventually i knew it would come to this. Why have i let it coem to this????
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2007
  2. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Your happiness will come back hunny. Because the person making you happy isn't going anywhere, but the selfish arseholes who make you feel this way will. You have people here for you hun, people who love you. And one particular person who loves you a lot. You can rely on that, I promise.
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I agree. Listen to Malleh, hun. Mal's right on the money! :) :hug: I'm here fr you if you need to talk, God knows you have been there and I'll always be here :)