why does THAT subject get to me so much. Thinking about one thing, leads to thinking about another, then another, then another. Never fecking stops one word gets to me so damn much ........................ DRUGS. Family torn apart by drugs, gets to me so much and i don't even have a problem with drugs. Never done drugs, had the chance to but choose not to because I've seen the worst affects it can have on a family ........ someone dying from an overdose. Now a fecking lyrics in a song has just triggered me '''sniffing on snow, when your feeling low'' What the fuck is my problem. Tried to be some what honest with my mum today, now all i can think is that shes pissed at me. I told her i don't feel safe at home. When I'm at home I'm usually there alone. I have what i need to do it at home. All I'm trying to do is keep myself safe and all i can think is that shes mad at me :sad: I know she feels theres nothing she can do but thats the truth she cant do anything to help. Just let me do what i feel is best for me right?? How the hell am i meant to turn around and tell her that shes got another kid who wants to kill them selfs. Found out my brothers been cutting as well, then she found out i do as well. I can't put this pressure on her again, supporting a suicidal kid. I need to leave her. Not put that pressure on her AGAIN. Last time i saw her have a breakdown in front on me. I'm not prepared to do that to her again. Theres no way in hell I'm gonna be the reason for her to break down again. I can't. Meh can't think anymore. Should just drink it all away. At least when I'm drunk I'm pissed enough to do damage to myself. Can't now. Just wanna fecking SCREAM, punch a door, cut, throw everything against a wall. So much anger in me and i don't know where its coming from but i just want it out of me. It's driving me mad. Gonna sounds stupid but i want the anger out of me but i scare myself when i completely loose it. I'm not me when i loose my temper. Just end up smashing up my room for the littlest things. Meh i dunno what to do anymore. Am just chatting shit to myself, trying to get it out of my head so me can be the happy one.