Gah...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Xenos, Jun 7, 2008.

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  1. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    For those of you who read my welcome thread... here's my problem. for those who haven't... here it is anyway.

    Video games have been one of the main fuels of my life. If i was bored, it was straight to the games. If I was depressed or had no one to talk to, then it was on to the games. You could say it became my own 'paradise' because I could simply go down to the basement and there it is. I didn't need to call anyone and ask if they wanted to hang out just to find they are too busy. Because of video games, I wasted at least a good 5 years of my life on it (sad huh?). Because of video games, I became anti-social, and have very few friends.

    I hate myself for being anti-social. I hate the fact that I made that poor choice to give away 5 years for my own entertainment. It's disgusting. I WANT to have a life. I WANT to have a good career, and settle down with a family (btw I'm 15). Yet, I'm not able to talk to someone, and everytime I try, they give me weird looks and distance themselves from me. Then I become depressed... and go to video games to be happy again. Then I am reminded in my head that I am wasting my time on a video game when I could be training for cross country, or improve my drawing skills... etc. And yet I don't want to do anything BUT play games. It leads me to even worse depression. I forget how I even convinced myself to stay happy. Gah... >.<

    I want to change... so bad. Even though some people tell me I have time, it always seems too hopeless because I've tried for so many years and I see no positive results from what I've done. That's where the thought of suicide came up in 7th grade, 3 years ago. :cry: And no, I don't want to commit suicide now. I want to end this cycle of depression, and get on with my life.

    Thanks for reading my post.
     
  2. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    i can relate to this; i had to just say no and gradually leave and make it hard to start again; it was hard but worth it; the guilt should pass eventually with the relief that you made the right decision to reduce / quit; online life is so absorbing and you miss out on a lot of stuff
     
  3. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Is it really that simple to just, leave it all alone? What if that powerful desire comes back again?
     
  4. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Of all the people whose posts I've read her I can relate to you the most. I'm 16 and I do not do S**T with my time. Good luck for us both, eh?
     
  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    There is hope but it will take time. Don't stop video gaming all together but firstly reduce to amount of time you spend on it. Either in a daily or weekly fashion, for example maybe cut an hour or half an hour from your game play each day or week.

    In those extra time you slowly gain, you can do more drawing or anything else of
    your interest.
     
  6. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Yeah, we'll need as much good luck as we can get. At least for me I think I do.

    i think I have tried that method a few times, and it only worked temporarily. I guess I'm just too weak and eventually succumb back into the addiction. what do you do if that desire comes back?
     
  7. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I can't say what works from MY experience, but tell me what you have tried and I may be able to offer suggestions. Have you tried developing new hobbies, changing the place of your video game equipment to where you are less tempted to use it, or maybe joining a videogame club or somat so at least you don't do it alone?
     
  8. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    I've tried by having my parents take my games away for a few months, but the desire kept building up to the point where I can't concentrate in school. Putting the video games somewhere else kinda worked, but it had to stay in the house so I still had full access to it.

    At the moment, there aren't any video gaming clubs, because mostly everyone where I live hardly ever plays them.

    I've tried the method of beating the game asap so I could do something else. I thought I was going to be blind.

    I've tried to think the games can be like a reward if I finished up my project, or run around the track etc. Didn't work.

    I was actually going to consider burning the CDs if there was nothing else, but then i remembered I might get poisoned... :dry:

    As for hobbies, I guess I don't have enough to fill up my time, but then again i can't think up something else to do. I draw, train myself for XC, read, sleep, walk around listening to music, and that's just about it. Not enough for the whole summer.

    I don't know, I think I just lack self-control, but it's hard to fight back against a life-long hobby...
     
  9. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Oh man have I got stories about weak self control. Everyone has it - only some people's impulses tell them to control themselves. You said putting the videogames kinda worked, care to elaborate on that? Or if any of the other stuff you tried might help if you did it differently? I think there's plenty of little tricks that don't have to be as extreme as getting poisoned :laugh:. Seriously, strict self control is over rated, you need to be able to live without fear of breaking a bunch of weird rules. How about this, focus on a single game that you like but think won't perpetuate your addiction as much, and focus on acheivments in that game. Get a portable game console (you can even trade it for one of your bigger ones so you didn't actually enlarge your game arsenal) like a nintendo DS or whatever they have out right now, then maybe your need for being in the house will decrease, and you can even walk inside it without being drawn to the games. Don't ignore your impulses, but try to satisfy them for long enough that you can do something better in between, and do your best to stretch the limit each time. And GET a hobbie! I learn arabic it's actually kinda fun :p.
     
  10. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Now that I think about it, there are some techniques I didn't try out yet... hmm =/

    The stuff had to stay in the house, and I happened to be in the same exact house. Since I was depressed all the time, the temptation was 'more' than less even if I was happy. In other words, it would keep building and building. I always made some sort of excuse to escape reality, I guess much like someone using a cigar or something. Therefore it didn't matter where the games were. as long as they were in the house, I was always tempted. did that make sense?

    ah well i guess i could try that out. i have a PSP so...

    any hobbies you recommend? =P
     
  11. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I'm all about challenges, even if it's hard for me to commit to some. I spent time a while ago memorizing significant portions of the world map, I still draw it from memory now and then. I recently finished learning to read/write in arabic and am looking forward to learning the language itself. I play violin - it will always suck to have to practice all the time but eventually it's something you can enjoy after a few months of commitment. I enjoy drawing as well. Idk shit like that. I don't know if you like challenges, they're sort of like games but when you're done you feel like you can really do something you couldn't before. The best thing is when you have people to hang out with I think it can make you stronger and happier. If you invest in starting hobbies and expanding a friendship here and there, you may lose some interest in games or simply find one day that it doesn't hinder you anymore. Anything I sai sound good?
     
  12. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    That's the other problem of mine... I'm a loner. I struggle talking with people face to face. Everytime I go to a party, I'm always the quiet one because I don't know how to respond back. And when I do respond, awkward silence usually follows. So I stay home alone doing things alone. I play online games and make friends online there because it's easier to talk and I feel like it's a reason to keep living since I felt happy I have friends who can relate with me in lots of things. But I also want to win favor with my friends in real life. I feel ashamed that these things are happening. It has been that way for a while now.
     
  13. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I feel I can really relate to that, I always feel embarressed by things I did that weren't exactly bad, but as a result I have long felt awkward making friends. Surprisingly it passes though, our age is exactly when others start to open up. The most important thing is to be yourself around others. Don't be scared, you aren't a bad person, and people who already have friends will always be ready for more. It may take a while, but if you are honest and confident around others they will grow to trust you. Once I was in gym class and some girl who's totally out of my league and that I hardly know started a conversation, because they just do that you know? But it took me by surprise because it was so normal, like somthing I used to only watch.
     
  14. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Alright, I'll try out the suggestions you gave me. Wish me luck... and you too. =)

    I find amazing you're only about a year older than me and yet you know how to comfort and offer suggestions. Man, I wish I knew how to do that, so I can be a better friend on SF. :mellow:
     
  15. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You know that reading what is happening with you sounds like you are really attached to your video games. You should think very seriously about going to school to learn how to make video games. I don't know where you live, but I see advertisements on t.v. that video progammers are in high demand.
    I wouldn't put myself down for being alone ( well I feel like a hyprocrit) It is a normal thing as long as you have control over it. If you find you are isolating all the time you need to seek help...:chopper:
     
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