So i'm trying not to cut; but I can't even do that right. My arms are cut from a previous session today, but I still feel like it isn't enough. I haven't destroyed this horrific body to a good enough level. I can't even self destruct properly. All I want is one big cut; One that will finally make me need medical attention for it. It's all I can think about. Making my body show the hurt i'm feeling inside. Make everyone see i'm really not ok.