Hello to all, and I hope sharing this doesn't lead to a disaster, as I have been hesitant to share this experience. It has recently been amplified to a level higher than what it was when I showed up a few months ago. If anyone doesn't know my recent story, here it is. Five years ago a Traumatic Brain Injury occurred in a hospital after a misdiagnosis of a brain tumor. Technically not a TBI because things were surgically removed, not shaken up from a concussion. If you read all of this post, please take into account that mental fatigue will always be part of who I am, and at times I am in high gear when I literally need rest, which will be shared below. I've lost short term memory and the "fight or flight response," so I tend to share what's on my mind, whether good or bad.
Part Two may further explain why I joined this forum..........my wife got off the subway on 33rd St. in Manhattan on 9/11 just as the first plane hit the Twin Tower. Shortly after that was a physical attack from a former partner. Alcohol was the escape from the emotional pain suffered. She and I met in February 2004 during a group trip to Madrid, Spain that was organized by a mutual friend. We got to know each other, and enjoyed drinks in a bar until 5 am, but the trauma response wasn't active during that trip.
When we returned home, she was back in the traumatic environment, and for the next seven years she checked out every night to make the pain go away. For the past several years it happens when "something uncomfortable" occurs, and that response does not have a standard pattern. We have been together since 2004 despite the difficulty, but recently it changed. My thoughts are that when we shut down for so long, that we decrease our ability to deal with life's issues, and small things can become a reason to "check out." She was arrested last Friday for DUI. The response to that was to drink to remove the pain, and it happened again two days later on Sunday. Today she went to get the local weekly newspaper, and there is a description of the two DUI's, which was followed by another traumatic response and removal of the experience by drinking. Gas has been thrown on the fire, and I am exhausted.
I just wanted (and needed) to finally explain why I am here. If it was only one of the two traumas, I probably wouldn't be here. Thanks to all who took the time to read this tale.
Part Two may further explain why I joined this forum..........my wife got off the subway on 33rd St. in Manhattan on 9/11 just as the first plane hit the Twin Tower. Shortly after that was a physical attack from a former partner. Alcohol was the escape from the emotional pain suffered. She and I met in February 2004 during a group trip to Madrid, Spain that was organized by a mutual friend. We got to know each other, and enjoyed drinks in a bar until 5 am, but the trauma response wasn't active during that trip.
When we returned home, she was back in the traumatic environment, and for the next seven years she checked out every night to make the pain go away. For the past several years it happens when "something uncomfortable" occurs, and that response does not have a standard pattern. We have been together since 2004 despite the difficulty, but recently it changed. My thoughts are that when we shut down for so long, that we decrease our ability to deal with life's issues, and small things can become a reason to "check out." She was arrested last Friday for DUI. The response to that was to drink to remove the pain, and it happened again two days later on Sunday. Today she went to get the local weekly newspaper, and there is a description of the two DUI's, which was followed by another traumatic response and removal of the experience by drinking. Gas has been thrown on the fire, and I am exhausted.
I just wanted (and needed) to finally explain why I am here. If it was only one of the two traumas, I probably wouldn't be here. Thanks to all who took the time to read this tale.