This past year I've tried therapy, medication, traveled, joined a gym. Yet here I am back down the rabbit hole. I have no real future, no friends, and other than 3 family members no one really gives a fuck about me. I do have a job but even that I'm mediocre at, day to day I have nothing going for me. The only reason why I havent ended things is for the few family members that care about me I don't want to be even more of a disappointment or hurt them. But I can't go on living all the wonderful things about being alive just do not enter my life. I know people on here are probably tired of my pity parties and think I'm just some loser looking for attention. But really I'm just a lost soul who doesn't belong here.