Gay and suicidal? Read this!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Valteron, Jan 24, 2009.

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  1. Valteron

    Valteron Well-Known Member

    I know there are a number of gay teenagers or young adults who frequent this site, so I thought I would share some thoughts.

    What I have to offer is the experience of a 60-year-old gay man who once felt suicidal BECAUSE he was a gay teen and thought that that made it impossible for him to be happy.

    Now, if you read some of my other posts, you may note that I am still subject to depression and anxiety, and suicidal thoughts (but NO attempts) and you may wonder what I am even doing on this site if my life is so f***ing wonderful, right?

    Well, what I am here to tell you is that I was once a gay teenager who was pessimistic, depressed and convinced that I could never have a good life simply because I am gay. And my experience proves that is just nonsense.

    You may well be depressed because of past abuse, because of mental problems, or whatever. But if you happen to be gay, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, allow yourself to believe that you have no chance at a happy life for that reason alone.

    In other words, what I am saying is that if you are a gay teenager, you have enough sources of stress, anxiety and depression common to all teens without creating extra heartache for yourself by believing certain homophobic myths out there.

    Here are a few of the myths. If you find yourself subscribing to them, spare yourself a lot of grief and lose them ASAP.

    Myth no. 1: Gays and lesbians are just bound to be unhappy because they do not function like "normal" people.

    Answer: I have been happy and serene far more often than not in the past 60 years, and it has nothing to do with my sexuality. I have spoken to gay AND straight people my age and we all agree on that.

    Myth no. 2: You will never find true love and a stable relationship. Gay relationships never last, because gays are so f***ed up. You will spend your life alone, looking for anonymous sex until you turn into an old queer looking for sex in washrooms and getting beaten up by thugs!

    Answer: I have never had sex in a washroom. I have been living with the same wonderful man for 33 years now. We are now legally married here in Canada. There are now six countries in the world that have completely equal marriage laws for gays, as well as a number of countries (Britain, France, Germany) that have almost-equal "civil union" laws. My spouse and I own a luxury condo in the city, a country house we built together in the mountains, two cats, two cars and good pensions or salaries. We take vacation cruises on ships like the Queen Mary. Last month we took a cruise in the Caribbean for 13 days. And neither of us was born rich. We earned it all on our own, as a couple, over 33 years. And neither of us is especially beautiful or smart. We are just ordinary, garden-variety faggots. But if you had told me my future when I was a depressed gay teen, I would never have believed you!

    Myth no. 3. Gays are never healthy. They get AIDS, hepatitis, are into drugs and alcohol, etc.

    Answer: Some gays are, but if you are going to do your research in gay bars, don't be surprised if you turn up a lot of drunks and people who do unsafe sex. My spouse and I and our friends do no drugs, no alcohol (or else very little), and everyone we know is HIV negative. We are all in perfect health for people in our 60s, and the doctor swears I will live to 100.:biggrin: BTW I work as a volunteer in an AIDS hospice to help those not as lucky as I. And they are NOT all gay patients, believe me.

    Now, please understand I did not come here to brag about how wonderful I am. I am just an ordinary old gay guy.

    All I am saying is that I used to be a silly gay teen who was convinced that being gay meant that I was condemned to have a horrible life. And now at 60, I am living proof that those fears are simply NOT valid.

    If you want to talk to "grandpa" Valteron about being a gay teen, message me or reply.
  2. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    great post thanks :)
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