Gender and Appearance

theonesatinthecorner

In armour, I fight battles; I must win this war
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#1
Ladies, Gentleman and Gender Non-Conformists of Suicide Forum

I have a question.

How does gender relate to body image? How does gender relate to ones mental health with regard to their body image?

Anyone comfortable discussing?
 

Freya

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#2
I don't really understand the question, but I am going to try to answer it anyway. I can only answer it really with regard to myself as a female. As a female I have (am frequently presented with and understand that men are generally attracted to) a particular image of femininity. As a tall, facially unattractive and obese woman, I in no way embody that image. I never have, even when slender (though it was closer) and my body image has always been incredibly poor. I believe that 'society' ties the female gender's worth to a particular body image - knowing that intellectually does not enable me to separate from it and I believe that stereotypes are true because they are so frequently true. The "perfect" body or appearance is a stereotype, of course, but only because it is very much the majority preference.

My mental health suffers because I feel unworthy as a woman and thus as a human because I cannot 'attract a mate'. That is what it boils down to, for me.
 
#3
I feel like I am in the same boat. I just got out of a 5 year relationship that was physically and emotionally abusive. My ex-bf also was an alcoholic and a drug addict. Now I am 42 years old and I am a little overweight although I am working on myself. I have already lost some weight and I am working on losing more although my relationship with food is a CONSTANT battle, struggle and fight everyday. I have had some success with the Atkins diet. I will probably never be toothpick skinny..unless I starve myself which I don't plan on doing. Diabetes also runs on both sides of my family so I have to be extra careful. But I am trying to at least be healthy physically which also helps mentally. It' is very difficult for the "average" woman to compete with what the media says is attractive being toothpick skinny or you aren't accepted. Another issue is the older you get the more difficult it is to find a mate. It's just really depressing. I actually did research on this topic and it basically said men and women are programmed to search for mates that are physically healthy and youthful so that they can produce and care for offspring. I guess that is the reason behind why men usually only like women in their 20's who are toothpick skinny. The way I'm looking at it is that I am a warrior of God and I am treating the body he gave me like a temple. I also can't do his work if my physical body is in bad shape. So I'm looking at it like I'm only answering to God and myself. Who cares what everyone else thinks. Yes, constantly yearning for a mate and not having one is difficult for the physical contact/sex part. But right now I'm looking at it like God is my husband and he loves me no matter what I look like. ;) I have struggled in the past with drug addiction. My addiction to food will be a constant battle I have to fight which is part of my depression. Although I have been walking daily and on the atkins diet and have already lost 25 pounds which has made me happy! :)
 

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